Page 49 of Breaking My Silence

CHAPTERTWELVE

KYLER

As soon aswe got back to my house, Ian headed straight for Cosette’s cage and pulled her out of her cubbyhole while I took my backpack off. I knew that meant she’d be grumpy because when she went in there, she didn’t like to be disturbed, but for once, I didn’t care. He was right. I did need her.

“I know you wanted to take a nap, but your mom needs you right now, so you need to be extra cute, okay?” he murmured, kissing Cosette’s head and stroking her back while I took my shoes off and got in bed.

As soon as I was settled, Ian handed Cosette to me. I couldn’t stop a few more tears from falling as I held her close. She snuggled into my arms and started licking me, like she could tell how upset I was and how much I needed her. She’d always been good at that.

Ian kicked his shoes off and then climbed into bed with me, resting his back against the wall. I sighed and leaned back against him.

“Can I hold you, baby?” he asked quietly.

“Always,” I sniffled.

He gently wrapped his arms around me, almost like he was scared to touch me. I could understand why he would be, especially after Braden said that I’d screamed at him when he’d tried to. But Ian was different. Ineededhim to touch me. I needed him to hold me and remind me that I was safe. I needed to be as close as humanly possible to him.

“Tighter.” My voice was barely a whisper as I tried to curl closer to him.

Ian kissed the top of my head and squeezed me a little tighter, but it still wasn’t enough. I put Cosette down on the bed for a minute and crawled onto his lap, and then I picked her back up. He seemed a little shocked because I didn’t usually sit on his lap, but he just wrapped his arms around me again and pressed his lips to my hairline.

“I’ve got you, Ky,” he murmured. “You’re okay.”

“You want me to tell you, don’t you?” I sighed.

“Not until you’re ready. Just take some time to calm down and love on your bunny. I’m not going anywhere.”

“I love you,” I mumbled, not sure how else to tell him how much I appreciated the way he was handling this.

“Te quiero, bebé,” he murmured.I love you, baby.

“Someone’s been paying attention in Spanish,” I chuckled, sniffling.

He chuckled too. “Well, I’ve got a pretty amazing tutor.”

I smiled and leaned my head on his shoulder. And I decided to just get it over with. The longer I waited to tell him, the worse it would be.

“Max was waiting for me when I got off the bus. I didn’t see him there. He grabbed my arm, and I spun around. My natural instinct was to fight him, just like it was for a long time with you. But when I raised my free hand, he pulled me right up against him, and I couldn’t do anything. And then he put a knife against my stomach. I don’t know how the hell he got it on campus.”

“Fuck,” he growled, low and deadly.

I was sure he knew where my cut came from now. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to put two and two together.

“He turned me around and put the knife to my back, and he forced me to that spot by the vending machines where you found me. Where he knew there wouldn’t be any witnesses. Then he put the knife up to my throat and said he didn’t like how close I’ve gotten with you. I guess Tucker told him what you said at the game yesterday, and he said I knew what would happen if I talked,” I sniffled, starting to cry again.

“Baby,” Ian murmured, kissing my temple. “God. I’m so fucking sorry. It’s my fault. If I hadn’t stuck my foot in my mouth—”

“It would have happened eventually, Ian. They would have kept pushing and pushing at both of us until you snapped. None of them are stupid. I’m sure they all knew it was only a matter of time before I would tell you. I insisted that I hadn’t said anything, and he said he was going to pretend he believed me because he couldn’t prove it, and then he cut my neck and laughed and acted like it was an accident and walked away.”

As I said it all out loud, I realized something.

One of the things I loved the most about Ian was how much he wanted to protect me, even before he found out what happened to me. So if Max started taunting him by saying stuff about me or if he started threatening my safety, Ianwouldsnap. I knew he would. And that would be disastrous for both of us.

“He’s going to be looking for proof now. He’s going to try to get you to say something else. Something to prove that you know. And then he’ll try to hurt both of us. It’s not just about torturing me anymore. It’s about keeping themselves out of jail. I’m so stupid, Ian. I shouldn’t have told you anything. It was too dangerous.”

I was sobbing hysterically again by the time I was done. I didn’t even realize I was shaking until Cosette twitched in my arms. I put her down on the bed, not trusting myself to hold her anymore, and Ian gently slid me off his lap. I whimpered in protest; I didn’t want to leave his arms.

“I’ll be right back, baby,” he whispered. “I’m not even leaving the room. I’m just going to put Cosette back in her cage so we don’t have to worry about her while we talk. Okay?”