Page 28 of Tastes Like Misery

“The guy pissed himself. Now he’s out there sitting by that woman who’s been blowing him during their lunch.”

He threw back his head and laughed, “I fucking love how cruel you are.”

With the bags full, we hefted them over our shoulders, a hell of a lot heavier than I expected. At least we were in shape and it wasn’t any more than that Johnny guy from the night before weighed. Running with this would have me sweating, but it was worth it.

Closing the vault behind us, we found Vivian in a casual stance, but the blonde on the floor was talking animatedly, a scowl on her face. Just as we approached, I heard Vivian’s tinkling laughter, “Sweetie, you mistake me for someone who gives a damn. I’m sure once we’re gone, your lover over here will let you go find your missing husband.”

“Vivian Parker!” The woman screeched, “I know it’s you. What did you do to Johnny?”

The shot rang out and her body slumped as her shirt turned from crisp white to red. The man beside her sobbed once but didn’t move to check on her, a little pussy who wanted to keep himself alive. I knew better, though, as Finn stalked up to him. “Please, I won’t tell anyone,” he looked at Vivian as if she’d save him.

I had to hand it to my girl, she didn’t seem phased at all and replied in a bored tone, “I only wish I’d done that myself.”

Finn kissed her so hard I heard his teeth scrape against hers. Putting his arm around her waist, he pulled her close to his body, “I promise I’ll make up for not letting you do it.” Without taking his eyes off her, he raised his gun with one hand and pulled the trigger, leaving Charles still alive, but I doubted for long with as much as he bled.

“Alright, lovebirds. We need to make our exit. Especially now that we have one dead body, and one who will be dead eventually, on our hands.”

Vivian pushed her breasts up against Finn as I heaved the bags over the counter before jumping across it. I held out my hand to help, but she didn’t come right away. Looking sexy as hell in her high heels and red wig, she pointed that little pink pistol at the manager and pulled the trigger, hitting him square in the temple.

“Fuck me,” my awe came out, and I was more than happy to have her in my arms when Finn lifted her over the counter. “You are so fucking sexy,” I murmured before nipping at her lip. And she was a vision of pure ecstasy, doing whatever it took to protect us. It was in that moment I realized I loved her.

Finn’s bags hit the ground, and he followed right after, patting my back, “Let’s go. We can’t dawdle anymore.” He was relaxed now, as if taking that life was the thing he needed to be back to his charming self. The three of us ran out the door and rushed to the waiting car. Throwing the bags in the trunk, we let Vivian sit in the back with Ollie and fill him in while Finn drove us out of the shithole we’d stayed in for way too long.

Vivian bounced in her seat as she told Ollie everything that had happened. He pulled her to him, “Next time I’m going in. I saw you on the cameras, but I bet it was nothing like being there in person.”

The car was full of excitement and laughter as we made our way out to Joe’s place. He’d take the car and wreck it, and I’d pay him well for his silence. We were free and had a hell of a lot of money in the trunk. “We should hit up Austin for the night. We deserve to celebrate and show our girl how we really like to live. I’m sure Reginald would love to be paid for my stay for once.”

Chapter 17

Sheriff Frank Hinton

The call came over the radio, Claire could barely contain her laughter as she sent me out to the McMillan farm. Johnny, that drunk, had himself in a heap of trouble again. I felt bad for his wife, always needing to bail him out. Heidi was a proud woman, always holding her head high as she took his drinks away at the town functions. A good, God-fearing woman who didn’t deserve a drunk like Johnny.

When I pulled up, Homer McMillan was standing by the barn in his worn overalls, his dirty hair askew as if he had just woken up. No doubt in my mind he hadn’t been up long considering he was lazy as all getup. His oldest son stood behind him, shoulders sagging. The teen looked like he’d taken a roll in the mud and I gripped the steering wheel a little tighter. The family had a good setup, with acres of alfalfa and a herd of cattle. If only Homer inherited his father’s work values, this farm wouldn’t have fallen into hard times. I could see the piles of hay laying in the field waiting to be baled and sold to the local cattle ranchers. From what I’d heard, he was behind on delivering orders and ranchers were tired of it, ready to go somewhere else. If they weren’t careful, they’d lose all their customers.

Whatever I felt toward Homer, I had to put aside as I climbed out of my car and made my way over. I had a job to do, and I prided myself on keeping my personal feelings out of it. “Good morning, Homer. I hear you have a little problem in your barn,” I greeted the man, not offering to shake his hand. It wasn’t a personal visit, or at least that was the excuse I went for.

The man looked shaken and nodded, “Yep. You go see for yourself. You can’t miss it. I’m not going back in there until he’s well and gone.”

The call over the radio didn’t prepare me for the sight of Johnny laying over the backside of a cow with his pants around his ankles. “What in the hell?” I swore, something I tried not to do in general. There wasn’t much that shook me, and I thought I’d seen it all. This was by far the craziest.

His snores were loud, and as I approached, the smell of booze assaulted my nose. No surprise when it came to Johnny, but his position was a first. Usually, he passed out in his car, which was nowhere to be found. I’d have to call a search party to see if he crashed it in a field.

Poking him hard on the shoulder, I raised my voice, “Wake up, Johnny.” He moved only the slightest, so I tried again, this time harder. I could throw a bucket of water over his head as I’ve done in the past, but I didn’t want to scare the animal. “Get up and explain,” I shook him, taking care not to spook the animal. I didn’t need an accident if he fell off and was trampled. This was hard enough trying to figure out what the hell I had to charge him with. With everything this drunk had done in the past, beastiality wasn’t one of the things to ever cross my mind.

He finally woke up with a snort and a start, and I had to grab his arm to keep him from falling off the side. “Get your feet under you,” I spit out as I tugged his shirt to get him off the sow. In a daze, he almost fell into the unkept manure channel but I pulled him back and only one foot landed in it. Another damn thing that lazy Homer didn’t do, and it was as simple as pushing a button to start the conveyor.

I realized there were no lights on and the barn was dim, with only the morning sun coming in through a few high windows. This wasn’t usual, and I wondered if they hadn’t paid their power bill. I could see it with the state of their finances. As much as I wanted to help this family, there wasn’t much I could do if they didn’t want to help themselves. I’d put in a call to social services, though, for the safety of the kids. Make sure they were eating properly and had what they needed.

I shook myself out of my thoughts of the McMillans, needing to focus on the task at hand. Johnny’s eyes were red and puffy, and he swayed as if still drunk. I wondered just how much he’d drank because he was never this bad. “Explain yourself,” I crossed my arms and waited, hoping he would get it out quickly so I could get out of the stench. Though used to the smell of manure, it was overpowering in this barn with barely any air. I’d have to call the animal welfare department as well.

Johnny looked around and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. Opening them again, he looked down, and I told him, “Pull your pants up and start talking, otherwise we’ll be going down to the station.”

It didn’t matter my jail was an hour away, but I’d have to book him for this. I knew damn well Homer would press charges, probably thinking he could get restitution if all turned out to be what it looked like. This time, there wouldn’t be anything Johnny could do to get out of going to jail.

He did as I told him, despite almost falling over several times. Finally, he zipped up and started talking, “I have no idea. I was at the bar last night and now I’m here. I don’t remember anything between.” Putting his fingers to his temple, it seemed he tried to squeeze out the memories. “Nope, Sheriff, I’ve got nothing.”

“It looks to me you mistook a cow for your wife, biblically.”

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