Page 2 of Game Changer

“Yes and no.” He smirks, leaning back slightly. “I didn’t get the part I auditioned for, but I did get the part I wanted.”

“Oh my God did you get the lead role? How in the hell did you manage that?”

His hearty laugh rumbles through my body. “Fucked if I know. That phone call almost floored me this morning. I’ve been dying to tell you.”

I chew my lip knowing this isn’t the whole story. “Why does this affect us?”

He moves me so that he can stand and paces to the window. I take his seat and watch as his shoulders slump.

“My agent advises a move to the States while I’m working. With a view to remaining permanently if this movie goes well and I get more work off the back of it. Apparently, they’re already drawing up immigration papers for me to get a green card. The movie is being filmed in the Mojave Desert, so I’ll need to get a place nearby. I need to make sure I’m available whenever they need me. I leave for London in four days then I’m off to L.A. for a meeting with the studio. It’s all happening so fast I feel like I’ve got whiplash.”

“Okay. How long does filming usually take? Six to nine months all in? You know I’ll still be here.”

His expression changes and an air of sadness falls over us. I know what he’s implying, and I know he’s struggling to say the words.

“Zara, you know you’re my best friend. What we have… well it works for us in the here and now, but do you really see this lasting forever? You’re a beautiful woman and you deserve to have someone who’ll be there for you in everything. Not someone who only comes around to get his rocks off.”

I hold my hand up. “Do you think I’m in love with you or something Buckie? I mean you’re not the only one who only wants to get their rocks off pal.”

I sound convincing enough, but inside I’m dying and lying through my teeth. Truth is, Iamin love with him. I have been since we met but I know he doesn’t feel the same. Agreeing to a friends with benefits relationship has been the only way I could keep him. I knew one day it would all have to come to an end, but I don’t think I ever prepared myself for it.

“Hey, I get it Zara. Fuck man, I’m trying here. I don’t want to hurt you. You know it’s the last thing I’d ever do. We didn’t go into this with our eyes closed, did we? We knew there would be a natural end to it someday.”

“I know and I’m happy for you Buckie, you know I am. I know how much this means to you. God it’s all you’ve ever wanted. I’m sorry this can’t be easy for you. You came here with amazing news, and I feel like I’ve ruined it for you.”

Buckie takes my hand and pulls me up from my seat, so that I’m standing in front of him.

“You are very special to me Zara do you understand? If I’d known how hard it was going to be to leave, I would never have suggested us doing what we do. That’s why I had to come and see you. We need to stop now so that when I do leave it won’t be so hard. Knowing you feel the same way about what we have makes it that bit easier for me. No strings to cut and all that.”

“I understand and I know you’re right. Do you need to go now, or do you want to stay tonight? As friends mind you nothing else. You can have the couch if you’d rather not sleep beside me.”

He cocks his head to one side and regards me for a second, that sexy smirk pulling at the corners of his mouth.

“How about a last goodbye. Give me a fresh memory for my wank bank.” He taps his head and I roll my eyes at him.

“Ever the romantic Buckie. God help the lassie that ends up with you.”I fucking hate heralready.

I jump up into his arms and we kiss as he carries me to the bedroom. I’m determined that I’ll be making my own memory, and I make a promise to myself that I will never ever forget this night.

* * *

Glasgow Central station is decidedly busy as I wait at the ticket office with Buckie. I couldn’t say goodbye to him the other night and leave it at that. I’m worried that he’ll be swept up in the atmosphere of Hollywood and fall in love with some beautiful actress. If this is the last time I see my Buckie, then I want to say goodbye properly, as forever friends. I’ll be that person he’ll see when he comes home to visit. I’ll be his friend that he’ll tell people about and I’ll support him when he does eventually move on with his life.

“Wow Zar, check this out.” Buckie turns to me waving a piece of paper in the air. “First fucking class.”

“Sshh, keep your voice down or you’ll get downgraded before you even board the train.”

“Oops. I’m excited. Never been first class on a train before,” he laughs.

We leave the ticket office and head up the concourse. I can see his train already waiting at platform one. Its sleek bullet shape is a far cry from the boxy, local trains arriving at the station full of the day’s commuters.

“Zar,” Buckie says stopping me in the middle of the concourse. He lifts his chin to the ceiling.

I look up and realise we are standing under the clock. The Glasgow Central Station clock has become famous as the meeting place of lovers and friends throughout the decades. It’s where Buckie and I always meet any time we come into the station.

I nod at him. “I’ve loved meeting you here. Never thought I’d be leaving you here though.”

“Zara, you are the most wonderful person I’ve ever known my entire life. You’ll always be my best friend no matter where this life takes us. And I promise, as soon as I can I’ll be back in Glasgow, and we’ll meet here. Whatever happens, happens. We don’t know where our lives will have taken us by then, or when it will even be, but we’ll always find each other no matter what.”

“Yeah, we will. I love you Buckie, now go and slay Hollywood. And save me a seat at the Oscars.”

He smiles at me, but his eyes are sad, and I know if he doesn’t go now, I’ll end up a wreck in front of him. I’m barely holding myself together.

“I love you too sweetheart and I’ll save you a seat at the Golden Globes too. You know I’m going to win them all.” He kisses the top of my head, lingering for a short moment and then he’s gone.

I watch him until he’s out of sight and then I let my tears fall down my cheeks. I can’t help but think this may be that last time I’ll see him, and my heart is broken.

---