Page 17 of His Bountiful Gifts (Men of the Sea)

ULA

My fingers pluck at weeds in the garden, ripping them out by the roots.

I knew it couldn’t last. Whatever wind blew Ronan to me has come to claim him. To take him away.

The spell is broken, and no matter what I do, he’ll leave.

I don’t notice the tears on my face until a drop falls on my hands. Swiping at my eyes, I stand up from the garden.

Jeremy is crouched on the stoop of his caravan, watching me, and he gives me a pitiful smile.

“I’m sorry, Ula.”

“No, you’re not.”

He stands up and saunters over to me. “It’s for the best. You don’t want to get involved with a man like that.”

There’s no meanness in his tone, just concern.

“I don’t mind that you’ve been with him, Ula. I’ll still take care of you.”

Through my tears, it’s like I’m seeing Jeremy for the first time. He’s not just trying to get into my pants. I think he genuinely cares for me.

Maybe that’s not so bad.

What I had with Ronan was too wild, too unpredictable. Maybe being with someone who loves you even if you don’t love them back is not so bad. Plenty of people live their lives like that.

“I’ve got a construction job on the new development. I’m not a deadbeat. I can provide for a family, Ula.”

Jeremy seems earnest, and perhaps that’s all a girl like me can hope for. A man with a steady job who is fond of her.

Only now I know there’s another way to feel. Now I know how my body and soul can be awakened. If I can’t have that feeling, I’d rather be on my own.

“I need some time.”

I pull away from Jeremy and walk along the path to the end of the trailer park. There’s a picnic bench that looks out over a field of tall grass, and I sit there, staring at the grass blowing in the wind and thinking about nothing.

I don’t turn around when I head the footsteps. I know it’s Ronan, and I know what he’s going to say.

“You’ve come to say goodbye.”

He sits next to me, and I steal a glance. His stormy eyes are deeper, more sorrowful.

“I hope it’s not goodbye.”

If this is some farewell-but-not-goodbye speech, then it’s not making me feel any better. Tears threaten my eyes, and I swipe at them with the back of my sleeve.

“I can’t stay here, Ula.”

Oh God. My chest constricts, and there’s a pain in my heart that makes me want to double over. But I won’t show him that. With all of my willpower, I remain sitting upright, even as my heart shatters.

“When will you go?” My voice comes out flat but steady.

“It has to be tonight. There’s a boat I can take.”

So, this is it. We don’t even get a night together. No more falling asleep tucked snugly into his body. No more waking up with his arm draped over me. No more feeling alive and wanted and content.

His hand clasps mine, and I pull away.

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