"Not for me."
His words hit me hard, knocking the air from my lungs. The room around me went in and out of focus. The book fell from my hands, landing on the floor with a thud. Neither of us so much as looked at it.
"Nothing has changed, Veda," he said again. His voice was cold. His demeanor perfectly calm.
All of my efforts, everything I'd done, everything I'd given, meant absolutely nothing to him. I could see this now. And with that realization, the terror I’d managed to keep at bay up until now took over. Tremors began in my hands and moved up my arms, spreading through my body until I stood there trembling uncontrollably. The game had been turned around on me. I hadn’t moved him. Didn’t change his mind. The only one who gave a shit here was me. Turning on my heel, I walked out of his office, refusing to let him see how he was tearing me apart.
"Veda."
I heard him call my name, but I didn't respond. I had to get to my room. Had to be alone so I could try to process what was about to happen. So I could get my affairs together. I didn't know exactly what Luca had planned for me. I only knew I wouldn't live through it.
In four days.
"Veda!"
I started to run, but not toward the stairs as I'd originally planned. I needed air. I couldn’t breathe. I had to get out of this house. The dam inside of me burst and I choked on a sob, tears blurring my vision as I smashed into the front door, my shaking hand fumbling with the locks.
Finally, I managed them and yanked the door open, only to get hit hard from behind. The door slammed shut again as I was thrown against it, knocking the breath from my lungs as my face bashed into the wood. Luca pressed against me as I gasped for air. And in some sick part of my head, I realized I could feel the hard length of him against my ass through my pajama shorts.
"Where the fuck do you think you're going?" His voice was deceptively calm. "You think I'm just gonna let you run out there barefoot, wearing what you're wearing, for my men to find you? Because that's what would happen, amore. You wouldn't get halfway to the road before they had you rounded up. The only thing that would keep them from shooting you on sight is if they decided that sweet ass was worth having first."
"Just let me go," I pleaded. "I don't want to play anymore." He pulled me away from the door, turning me in his arms and holding me close against him. I realized I was still trembling. With fear? With desire? I had no way of knowing anymore.
"Shhh..." he told me. Leaving one arm around my back, he ducked down and caught me behind the knees, lifting me effortlessly into his strong arms.
Wrapping my arms around him, I tucked my face into his neck. "I don't want to play anymore. Luca, I don't want to play anymore..."
I repeated the mantra as he carried me up the stairs and into his room. I whispered it as he stripped me of my clothing, his hands touching me everywhere, like he was trying to memorize my body from the top of my head all the way to the soles of my feet. I moaned it as his lips found my breasts, teasing my nipples with his tongue and teeth. I screamed it as he laid me on the bed and spread my legs, his mouth hot and wet on my cunt.
It was only when he rose up and pressed his way into me, forcing my body to accept him, that I stopped pleading and wrapped my arms and legs around him to hold him close to me.
Knowing our time together was running out.
***
I didn't see Luca again after that sleepless night. He left me alone to wander the house and ponder my death while he went about his business, preparing for his meeting with my sister’s fiancé.
Was he even thinking about me?
Would he miss me?
Twice, I tried to escape out the door. And once I was halfway over the railing of the balcony in my room before I was caught. Each time, Tristan or Enzo calmly brought me back inside and watched me as I crumbled to the floor in defeat. They never said a word. Didn't try to console me. Just stood by as I worked through my anger and grief.
On the third day, I stopped trying. I decided if I was going to die, I wanted Luca to be the one to do it. I wanted him to look me in the eyes as he pulled the fucking trigger.
On the fourth day, I was lying in bed when Luca came into my room, dressed in black dress pants and a black button-down shirt, his gun holstered under his left arm. I hadn't slept the night before and I couldn't bring myself to eat. I couldn't even force myself to get up.
He didn't bother to knock. "I need you to get up and get a shower. I'm taking you out." There was no emotion in his voice.
I didn't know exactly where he was taking me, but I couldn't see why it mattered if I was clean or not. If I were to guess, probably to some abandoned warehouse out in the middle of nowhere where no one would hear the gunshot or see my blood spilled all over the floor. Did he want to get one last fuck out of me before he offed me?
The pathetic thing that I’d become, this woman who was desperate to live, to grasp at anything that made her feel alive…she would let him.
Walking over to the closet, he pulled out a sapphire blue, one shoulder mini dress that had a diagonal split across my torso from my collarbone to my opposite hip bone. Luckily, the entire thing was tight and hugged my curves. But I still wouldn't jump around in it for fear my boobs would fall right out. I'd tried it on on a whim, and Luca had insisted I get it. So I did. For him. Even though it wasn't like anything I would normally wear.
It was, however, exactly like something my sister, Nicole, would wear.
"Get up, Veda."