Page 33 of Last Love

The absolute – and I do mean absolute – last thing I’m in the mood for right now, this far away from my sugary mood stabilizer, is having an uncomfortable, awkward discussion with my employee about his roommate who I’m in love with.

Er.

Used to be in love with.

I don’t know anything about this him, so I can’t possibly be in love with him…

Can I?

“Boss?”

Disbelief I let myself stay silent for so long, I shake off the stunned expression and try to play it off, “Sorry! I haven’t eaten lunch yet and sometimes when that happens I get a little spacey.”

He casually nods his comprehension.

“What’d you need?”

“Okay,” his arms brace themselves his chest, “here goes…”

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Here we don’t go!

Here is not the time or the place to go!

“I’m gonna be an uncle.”

The unforeseen confession causes me to crunch my face in confusion. “Huh?”

“My oldest bro – the one I told you about yesterday – is having a kid.”

“Aw,” I mindlessly coo, “congratulations!”

“Thanks, boss.” He bashfully beams. “I'm gonna be the best d-a-m-n uncle, too. I’ve got all the ish planned out. How to sneak cookies. How to pick locks. How to know when to bob and when to weave. What he or she needs to do to stay in their parents’ good graces. Oh! And which routes to take to avoid the local PD versus which routes to take to avoid state troopers in a pinch.”

Curiosity over some of the unexpected comments twitches my lips.

“The problem is I wanna be there when my niece or nephew is first born – I’m betting nephew – ,but I can’t exactly put in a request like that since babies show up whenever the eff they feel like it, ya know?”

“Very true.”

“So, I was wondering if we could work out some way for me to just…take off that time when it comes?” Merrick’s uncertain tone combined with the request feels like someone has removed a single brick from the stack that’s crushing my heart. “Like pre-emptively arrange my disappearance without it effing me over on vacation or sick days or call-ins?”

“Of course! Just fill out a request form for the beginning of the month the baby is due. Make a note about the dates being flexible, write down how long you would like off from the start date, and send me an email if or when you have more information closer to time. I prefer the request now just to have something already on the schedule. I don’t love surprises.”

His twitch of a smile isn’t one I’m sure if I’m imagining happened or actually did.

“The days you miss don’t require a substitute to cover – due to you not being a teacher – so really it’ll be about you making up the time you need – which given all the extra hours you put in shouldn’t be hard – and ensuring that the janitorial staff can pitch in if something crazy happens like a toddler Hulking out and throwing an entire container of black paint at a mural in their classroom.”

Merrick loudly chuckles at the idea.

“Just whenever you split town, whether it’s in the middle of the night or middle of the day, just give me a call here at the office or shoot me a text to let me know, please.”

He smiles gleefully again. “I can definitely do that.”

Thankful this conversation isn’t at all what I thought it was going to be, I warmly inquire. “Do you know what they’re having?”

“No.” His face immediately frowns. “And they won’t tell me, either. None of my effing brothers will. I think Knoxie is forcing them to keep it a secret. Probably used some high threats. Ohhhhh…probably food related threats. Those always worked growing up.”

They work now for me as an adult.

“Pretty sure she’s punishing me for not moving back home. She’s still a little bitter about that ish.”

There’s no reason to stop myself from snickering. “That Merrick McCoy charm doesn’t work on her?”

“Depends on the day.” His playful wink is followed by an exit announcement. “I’m gonna head out to the shed and make sure they didn’t eff up the delivery.”

“Let me know if they did.”

“Of course.”

His disappearance leaves me with a false sense of relief.

There isn’t a teeny tiny piece of me that thinks that the subject of Ry is closed.

No.

Most likely, he’ll try to open it after his shift is over which means what I need to do is to leave early to avoid having that talk before I’m ready.

Not that I’ll ever be ready.

For that conversation.

For any conversation involving my first love popping back into my life again.

Wonder how long I can keep just roadrunnering away when someone brings him up?

I can probably get away with a couple more days of it at least.

**

The fat droplets on my windshield are not enough for my wipers yet still manage to startle traffic into misbehaving more than I’m anticipating.

It takes an extra twenty-five minutes to get home, more than making up for me leaving the building, although not work, early.

I simply transferred having calls on my office phone to my Bluetooth.

As much fun as explaining to Andrii how to handle telling our local food sources that their orders were not up to code was not, it still beats the shit out of calling Katherine back to further discuss my recent fuck up.

And it was a thousand times better than having to figure out a way to tell Merrick that I don’t wanna talk about or think about his roommate.

Probably ever.

Which given how much I have over the past few months is absurd.

But honestly?

That’s most likely why.

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