Page 65 of Since Always

I consider calling him to see what damage I've done, but I decide that will only make things worse. Instead, I put my phone down, knowing I don't need to see any more. Maybe, if I ignore it, everything will just go away. I have to see him in two days, and the thought of having to face him was already hard enough. I can't cope with having to look him in the eye after saying, well, God knows what I said.

I can't lie in the bed anymore; the regret crawling underneath my skin is making me too restless to stay still. I get up, make the bed, and head home. It's Friday, which means I have my journalism class in a couple hours. I had planned on skipping it since my flight home is later this afternoon, but now I need something to do or I am going to drive myself insane.

A long hot shower and breakfast make it so that, by the time I make it to class, I feel like at least half a human being. I take a seat and watch my classmates file into the room, jealous of the mundane mornings they have all probably had.

Our professor reminds us to pick up the papers we turned in last week, and I'm happy to see that I got a 100% as I grab mine. I notice that he's added a note.

"Can you see me after class?" It says, scrawled across the top. I feel a wave of anxiety at the words, but it can't be bad. I've been doing well in the class.

I head up to his desk after he excuses everyone else. There are a couple of guys asking him questions, so I hang back, letting them finish before I go up.

"Professor Lansing?" I say, and he glances up. "You asked me to come see you." I flash him the paper.

"Oh, right! Yes, absolutely. Cassidy, I wanted to tell you I've been blown away by your work in class so far. I know we are only a of couple months in, but your first few papers have been incredible. This one made me really take a moment to pause and think about what you were saying. And the patriotism paper, well, I'm not ashamed to say I teared up a bit, reading that one."

I hug my books to my chest, shifting uncomfortably. I'm not great with compliments like this. "Oh, thank you. That means a lot."

"You're a senior? Graduating in the spring?"

"Yes, sir."

"Are you considering a career as a journalist?"

"No, I'm...Well, my family owns a company and..."

He laughs and I look at him, startled.

"Ms. Sloane, I know who your family is. Living here on planet Earth as I do, I am familiar with Sloane Technologies."

I smile. "Oh. Right. Well, I'm going to be working for Sloane Tech."

"Ah. Well, I guess that makes sense."

There is disappointment in his tone. It appears I have just put an end to this conversation because he says nothing more.

"Well, thank you," I say. "It really means a lot. Writing is, I don’t know, I guess my passion."

He nods. "Of course."

I smile again, awkwardly, and then turn to walk towards the door. As I reach it, I hear him moving out of his chair.

"I'm sorry, Cassidy, can I just..." I turn around and he is writing something on a piece of paper. "This is a student of mine who graduated a few years ago. He just finished up his masters. He's starting a website soon—it's a non-partisan news site. In-depth exposés on important stories with all sides of the story. Rely on more data and facts than editorial opinion, you know? It's a little idealistic if you ask me, but that's what being 24 is for, I guess. He asked me to keep an eye out for fresh voices that I think have talent. I know you have, well, I'm guessing pretty much the world at your feet. But I would be remiss if I didn't give you his information."

He has walked over and reaches his hand out. I take the slip of paper.

"I don't know what to say. I..."

"You don't have to say anything. And you don't have to contact him. No pressure. I just really think you have quite the voice."

"Thank you. Really."

I am still smiling when I board my plane a couple of hours later.

Mom: You boarded?

Me: Yeah. Flight's on time.

Mom: Okay, baby. You sure you don't want me to pick you up?

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