Page 58 of Since Always

"Hi," she whispers. "Hang on a second."

There is some shuffling for a few moments while I wait.

"Okay, sorry," she says. "Making sure she's in the shower."

"She's in the shower? Does that mean its good news? When did this happen?"

"Last night. I finally saw her. You know I told you a couple days ago that I kept trying to make plans, and she kept putting me off? So, last night she asks if she can come over, and I was totally expecting her to end it, just based on how things have been this past week.

"But then she gets here and immediately she's telling me about how crazy work has been, and she's so stressed out that she starts crying. So, I know she hasn't just been making excuses not to see me this week. It really was that things were busy for her."

"See?" I say. "You can't always expect the worst. What's her job?"

"Fashion design. An apprentice for Lamond Gauthier."

"Oh, wow. He's one of my favorites. Very nice. Okay, then what happened?"

"Well, I chicken out and I make her dinner. We have some wine and I'm just trying to, like, make her day better and make her smile. But then we go outside on the patio and we are toasting to the New Year, and she says she's excited for 'our New Year together.'"

"Ohhh."

"Right? So, I was like, 'Are we?' And Samantha says, 'Are we what?' And I said, 'Together. Because we don't act like we are. But I wish we were.' Then, she just leaned in and kissed me, and said she had been thinking the exact same thing."

"Oh my God," I squeal, a smile on my face for the first time in days. "Lexi, that is the cutest thing I've ever heard. So, it's like official now. You have a girlfriend."

"I do. I have a girlfriend. And she's amazing."

"I can't wait to meet her. Can she come to my birthday?"

"I don't know. I could check. Are you sure that would be cool?"

"Are you kidding me? That is literally what I want for my present."

"Are you sure? Because I was going to see if I could get you something from Gauthier's spring show."

"Oh, okay. Well, I want two things now."

I can hear the smile in her voice when she speaks. "I guess sometimes putting it all on the line does pay off."

"Yeah. I guess it does."

She clears her throat.

"Lex, if you are about to start lecturing me, let's be clear that I did put it all on the line and he left anyway."

"I would never lecture you." She pauses. "But...I might argue that when he ended things, you didn't tell him how you felt about it."

"What was there to tell him? He doesn't want to risk his career for me. What am I supposed to say to that? 'No, you have to give up everything to be with me?'"

"Maybe he doesn't know what's at stake. Maybe if you told him you are willing to fight by his side, and be there through whatever fallout there is—"

"No," I say, and for once I know I am making the right choice. "It's not about me. It would be unfair for me to be needy and beg him to put his life on the line for me. I can't say anything. And it's fine; I'm dealing with it."

She says nothing.

"But," I say, wanting to change the subject. "I am super happy for you. I can't wait to meet Samantha."

"Thanks, friend. Are you sure you are doing okay? I'm worried about you."

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