Page 18 of Since Always

"I did pick it up though. Remember the last run, that day?"

He smiles. "Vividly. You crushed it. I thought you were going to give up there, for a minute, but I guess I should have known better. I'm not sure I've ever seen you give up on anything in your entire life."

I smile. "I'm sure I've given up on things. I just don't like being bad at something."

"Well, I was very proud that day."

"Thanks."

"No," he says, shaking his head. "Not of you. Of me. I couldn't believe I had made something out of the terror they had given me at the beginning of the day."

I laugh again, grabbing the pillow off the ground where it fell and throwing it back at him. "Ass."

He catches it and sets it back down on the couch. He smiles at me, and everything feels okay again. "I should probably get some sleep." I open my mouth, but he holds his hand up. "No old jokes, please. I don't think my fragile heart can take it right now." He stands up and starts to head out of the room.

"Goodnight, Owen," I say.

"Night, Lil’ C."

CHAPTER 6

Owen

I ignore the pain on my third run of the day. My muscles are tight and sore, and there are moments I wonder if my legs are going to give out on me. But I keep pushing on, winding across the ridge of the mountain. We're on a slope that only locals usually know about, so it's silent other than the gentle swishing of my board in the snow. Chris is somewhere on my tail, but I've left him pretty far behind.

I am trying to focus on the terrain in front of me, but the thoughts keep sneaking in. I'm pushing my body harder to fight them back.

The plan was to not be alone with Cass, and I didn't even make it through the rest of the day.

What the fuck is wrong is with me?

There was some hope last night, though. Something that felt like a chance at friendship. Like we could get back to where we once were. So, maybe I am beating this thing after all. I don't want to have to avoid her forever. I enjoyed hanging out with Cass, long before I had any other thoughts about her.

The summer after she graduated high school was when I really got to bond with her for the first time as an adult. Chris hadn't been able to make it for the annual Fourth of July trip, but I had still come with Cass and her parents. She and I had a great time together. It was amazing to me that this kid I had watched grow up could now talk to me about her political views, the news, and her passion for writing. We had heated debates over what gun control should look like. I regaled her with tales of the women I had been dating, and she roared with laughter at my stories. She filled me in on all the gossip from her senior year. Chris called at one point to ask me how things were going.

"You know what? Your sister is cool," I told him. "Like, even if she wasn't your sister, I think we would be friends with her."

Friends. That's what I'd thought at the time.

The slope becomes steeper, as the run curves. I should ease up a little; but I point my board straighter, opening up my turns. Increasing my speed. The small flurry of snow is coming down harder as the memories assault me.

The New Year's trip two years ago was the first one since Jack's passing. His sudden heart attack—which he had the day after Cassidy's 20th birthday earlier that year—had shocked not only the family; but the entire country. No one had come up to Aspen that summer.

I tried to keep a careful eye on all the Sloanes that year, but my schedule made it difficult. I knew Jessica had retreated from the world, and was struggling with depression. Chris was thrust into the position of CEO for a multi-billion-dollar company overnight. He had no time to think of anything other than keeping the company afloat and stopping investors from panicking.

And then there was Cass. She had dropped out of college immediately after her father's death. It took me a while to realize she was wasting her days drinking, getting high, and doing God knows what else with a group of losers who were going nowhere. I didn't even know where Cass would have met such people.

Ryan Jacobs was one of those losers. I had never met him prior to that trip, but I hated him instantly. He was a punk who didn't care about Cass, and was leading her further down her destructive path.

I recognized how lost she was. I'd been there after Kaitlyn. Neither Jessica nor Chris had the emotional capacity to clock her deterioration, so I wanted to step in—I just hadn't known how. I'd planned on sitting her down and getting her to talk to me on that trip. Trying to get her into therapy. Trying to get through to her.

But I hadn't planned on her bringing Ryan.

For the first few days, I watched how he treated her and fought back an urge that I knew was would land me on front pages nationwide. He talked over her, demanded they do things on his schedule, barked orders at her, and made fun of her for things in a way that clearly wasn't a joke. They went out every night, stumbling home in the early morning hours and then staying in bed until evening, when the process would repeat.

The fourth night, Chris and I had gone out. I hadn't been home long and had a decent buzz going when I heard their voices heading down the hall to her bedroom.

I climbed into bed and turned off my light, but I couldn't sleep. Eventually, I got up and headed to the kitchen for a snack. When I opened the door, a noise from Cassidy's room distracted me. I turned, noticing light was pouring out of the door they had accidentally left open. Without even thinking about it, I moved to close it.

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