Page 85 of Since Always

When I finish, she tells me how proud she is of me, and how happy my dad would be. Reflexively, I touch the ball that hangs around my neck.

"Thanks, mom. That means a lot."

"You should call your brother and tell him. He'll be excited for you."

I snort. "I'm sorry, did you fall and hit your head?"

"You need to call him, Cass. You guys can't do this forever."

"I bet we can."

"Cassidy. You aren't even with Owen anymore, it shouldn't be an issue for him. Yes, you guys hid your relationship from him and that hurt him, but he will get over it."

"Well, first of all, I don't know that he will. Secondly, he is also mad at me for not wanting to work for the company, so I don't think he's going to be thrilled to hear about my new position. And third, and honestly, this is the most important thing, I'm not over the way he acted. You should have heard him, mom. It was like he controlled me and my life and I was just something he owned that he lost to Owen. It was patriarchal and gross and it pissed me off."

"That's fair. And I had a talk with him about that after I talked to you. Your brother is far from perfect. And as much as I think you are perfect, you may just have your flaws as well. Say, possibly, your stubbornness. You both got that from your dad. I love you both and I loved him, and sometimes that bull headedness you all have is a tool to get where you want to be. But sometimes it is going to be the thing that holds you back and gets in your way."

"I know that."

"Okay. Well, you're an adult, so I won't scold you anymore. But the two of you? Above everything else that he did and created and worked for, you are your dad's pride-and-joy. It would have absolutely devastated him to see you fight. So I hope you work it out soon."

I don't call Chris when I hang up the phone—my pride does still stop me. But her words echo through my mind for days after our call.

CHAPTER 28

Owen

Thankfully, over the next couple of months, I am distracted by how busy work is. It allows me to not think about the fact that Cassidy and I are pointedly not talking—both of us knowing how much harder it makes things.

In April, the Internet Safety bill passes without the rider that Mark Reynolds had threatened, which had, coincidentally, never came up after our little chat.

Russell Smith from Vidtalk flies out that night for a dinner to celebrate.

"To being the good guys," he says, raising his glass to mine.

It is the kind of thing that used to bother me when someone said it. The kind of thing I used to object to. But after telling Cassidy what happened and then talking to Patricia Reynolds, I decided it was time to deal with the ghosts of the past and I found a therapist here in DC. She is helping me to see that my life is bigger than that one moment and the mistakes Kaitlyn and I both made when we were young. The guilt I have carried around for the past decade is slowly unknotting itself inside me. I would still give anything in the entire world to go back and undo what has been done, but I that's not a luxury that life affords me, so instead I have to move ahead.

"To being the good guys," I repeat, and raise my glass to him.

"How is everything else? You look good," he says.

"Thanks. I feel good. Everything is going okay."

"How's the dating life?" Russell asks.

"Uh, non-existent at the moment."

"Come on, man. Throw us married guys a bone. I always hear rumors about you and Dani Rodriguez. Is that not a thing?"

I laugh. "No. Dani is just a friend. To be honest, I kinda had something going with a woman a few months ago and it ended and I'm not really ready to jump back in the game."

He cocks an eyebrow. "Really? Well, well, well. Look at this, Owen Blaze is actually capable of feelings for a woman. All the rumors must be false."

I smile. "Yes, I am apparently very capable of feelings."

"If you don't mind me asking, what happened?"

"We just couldn't make it work. There were...just...things standing between us."

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