Page 57 of Since Always

She smiles. "We are cool. I promise. I just want to get out of this moment."

"Fair enough. Good night, Dani."

"Goodnight, Owen. And, hey, for what it's worth: I think you and Cassidy Sloane would be great together. If you decide to say, 'Fuck it' and go for it; I've got your back."

I shut the door and lean against it, exhaling deeply. Why can't I just want the easy life? The easy relationship?

As if on cue, I hear my phone ding and smile instinctively when I see her name.

The fact of the matter is that just seeing a line of text from her makes me happier than spending time with any other woman on the planet does. I guess the why of it all doesn't really matter.

Cass: Hi. I'm back in LA. I just wanted to let you know I made it back okay. Which is probably stupid.

Me: Not stupid. I'm glad you made it back. How were your last couple of days in Denver?

Cass: Fine. Want to hear something crazy?

Me: Always.

Cass: Chris told me last night he's asking Steph to move in with him.

Me: What?? That's...Fast. How do you feel about that?

Cass: I don’t know. I guess okay? I think she's actually pretty cool now.

I think about my conversation with Steph and how she kept our secret for us, something Cassidy doesn't know.

Me: Yeah, me too.

Cass asks me how my first day back was and I fill her in, leaving out the part about Dani coming over. After a bit, I say something but she doesn't respond for several minutes. I assume the conversation has ended and put my phone down. It dings again seconds later.

Cass: I miss you so much, O. I know I'm not supposed to say that, but I do.

I close my eyes for a moment, letting the wave of pain wash over me. I can feel her, wrapped in my arms. Can see her bright blue eyes looking up at me, that glistening white smile on her face. I shouldn't make it worse, but I can't help but respond with the truth.

Me: I miss you too, kiddo.

The dots appear again, but then disappear. I stare at my phone pathetically, but I am waiting for something that never comes. When I finally climb into bed, after exhaustion sweeps over my entire body, I fall asleep with it in my hand.

CHAPTER 19

Cassidy

I've been back at school for over a week, but I am just going through the motions. When I wake up each morning there is a split second when everything is fine. And then it comes crashing back. Sometimes it is a trickle; I was with Owen a couple of weeks ago. Owen kissed me. We made love. He cares about me like I care about him.

And then he ended it.

I am alone again.

And on other days, all of that hits me at once. Those days are the worst.

Either way, I carry it with me through the rest of the day as I slog through classes, and homework, and crawl into bed early every night.

Tonight, right before I am about to fall asleep, I get a text from Lexi.

Lexi: I TOLD HER. Can you call me?

I immediately hit the talk button.

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