Page 5 of Since Always

He shakes his head. "I know what you're going to say, and I'm telling you, she's changed. She's not the person she was when—“

"When she cheated on you? In your own bed?"

"Yeah, yeah. I know," he says, and his expression tells me he doesn't need reminding of what he went through with her.

"How did this happen?" I ask.

"She was at a charity dinner I went to a couple months ago. I haven't seen her in five years. She walked through the door and, I don't know, it was like no time had passed at all. We started chatting and the next day she called me and we talked about what happened back then."

"And what's her take on 'what happened back then?'"

"She was in a shitty place mentally and she screwed up, and she knows she screwed up. She's been living with it ever since."

"I see," I say. I turn away from him, taking in the majestic early morning vista. It hits a chord somewhere in me. That feeling of distrust. What it can lead to.

"I know what you are thinking. But she's changed. And, well, I wanted you to know because...she's here."

"Here...in Aspen?"

He nods. "A few women from her firm rented a place for a girl's weekend. So, she'll be here for the next few days and I need your help with telling—“

"No."

"Come on. You know they aren't going to listen to me."

"You are my best friend and I would do just about anything for you. But there is no way I am going to tell Cass, let alone your mom, that you are back with Stephanie. I will support you, and I will be there for you, but you are going to have to man up and do that shit yourself."

He sighs. "You're just scared."

"Of the Sloane women? Obviously I'm scared. You're scared too or we wouldn't be having this conversation. You and I are both stupid men, but we're not that stupid."

"I know how the two of them can get. They're very judgmental about other people's relationships."

I snort.

"What? You know I'm right."

"I do. I also know that the pot called and has a message for you, Kettle."

"Oh, fuck off."

I laugh. "Look, man. If you're happy, I'm happy for you. Just be careful. You almost didn't survive the last time."

"I know. Trust me, I know. But, it's been good with her so far. You know work has been killing me since we launched next year's desktop line a few weeks ago. It was really bumpy for a while getting that out. And, I don't know, but having her around again—it just makes me feel like there's something to look forward to at the end of the day."

"Yeah. I get that." And I do. I remember it. But, I also remember what comes next, and for me that part wasn't pretty.

"I guess the novelty of screwing someone new all the time has worn off for me. It's nice to have someone to actually talk to. Don't you ever feel like that?"

"No."

"Bullshit."

I shrug. "I don't have time for anything like that. When Congress gets back in session, I have thirteen, fourteen-hour days ahead of me. When the hell would I squeeze in any kind of relationship?"

"And you never miss it? What it was like with Kaitlyn?"

I am uncomfortable, and he knows it. This is an area of my life I don't enjoy talking about, even with him.

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