Page 18 of Shelter (The Wanderers 4)

“But it’s possible, right?” The trembling started again.

Riggs held her gaze for long seconds, his expression strained. “No. It’s not possible.”

She frowned. “Why not?”

“It just isn’t. Let it go, Hales. We need to get to lunch.” He released her chin and grabbed her hand.

“Riggs?” She tugged back against him. “What aren’t you telling me?”

He sighed. “Haley, please, don’t badger me. Can you take my word for it and let it go? Braylon’s sperm count will come back too low. Trust me and don’t worry about it.”

She shook her head, still pulling on his hand. She had no idea where her defiance came from. She hadn’t been permitted a single moment of defiance in fourteen years at the girls’ home. She’d been timid and scared out of her mind when she’d moved into the Hanson estate. But Braylon had treated her like spun gold from that first night. He’d given her a spine. He’d told her countless times that she was entitled to her own thoughts and opinions contrary to everything she’d been taught at that godforsaken school.

In six months, she’d changed from someone too shy to lift her gaze to a woman who knew her mind and could stand up for herself. Granted, she very carefully only exercised that right when she was with Braylon, Riggs, or Storm, but they’d taught her to think for herself even if she couldn’t do so outwardly for the time being.

Now was one of those important moments. “Riggs Feldman, explain yourself right now or I’m not going down to lunch.”

He groaned. “Stubborn woman.” But he was grinning at the same time. He liked this side of her, and that made her feel like a million bucks even in the middle of this catastrophe.

“If I tell you, will you accept a brief explanation for now and go to lunch without arguing further?”

She nodded. She was breathing heavily, worried about what he might say.

“Braylon gave them my sperm, honey. I have no idea what his looks like. It’s never been tested, but I’ve had mine tested. I knew. It’s your lucky day. Let’s go.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the door, not looking back.

Her mind was racing as she tried to process what he’d said. Riggs had traded out his own sperm to save his friend’s ass. For her. For Braylon. For all of them, really. What an odd twist of fate that he’d needed to prove Braylon didn’t have the sperm count to impregnate her. In a normal situation that would have been devastating news to Braylon’s parents, but they obviously already suspected as much or they wouldn’t have paid for the services of another man to use as a sperm donor.

The truth was that she would only be suspected as the culprit as a last resort because she’d been monitored carefully for many years. Her entire menstrual cycle was documented down to the minute from the time she’d started her first period until the day she’d married Braylon. Even the timing of their wedding hadn’t been a coincidence. The girls’ home had provided the Hansons with her most fertile day of the month to help ensure she got pregnant as soon as possible.

Haley’s head was spinning as she followed Riggs down the hall and then the stairs. He was no longer touching her. That wouldn’t be appropriate, but she wanted to stop time, pull him into her arms, and hug him tight.

She had no idea how long he’d been aware of his own low sperm count or why he’d been tested in the first place, but no matter what, it had to weigh on his shoulders and it must have been difficult to share with her.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered as they reached the bottom of the steps. She couldn’t be sure he heard her, but she was fighting back tears that were threatening to fall for his own loss, knowing that his chances of ever conceiving were slim.

Was that why he hadn’t been married to a woman from the girls’ home yet? Did his father know about his situation? Was he disappointed? Was someone lined up to marry Riggs? She’d never asked because she couldn’t stand to face the answer.

She lived on a razor-thin line, barely holding it together most days. All the lying and deceit and keeping her stories straight was taxing. It would kill her if Riggs was married off to another woman. She tried not to think about it because it seemed wrong for her to care so much about him. But she did, and she would secretly be devastated.

He surprised her when he grabbed her hand again, heedless of the fact that they might get caught. He dragged her into an alcove where no one could see them, cupped her face, and met her gaze. “Put it out of your mind, Hales. It doesn’t matter. Not to me. I came to terms with it long ago. Besides, it’s not as if I won’t ever have kids. Any child you conceive will be mine in my mind. Just like it will be Braylon’s. And…”

“Storm’s,” she added in a soft whisper as the pieces fell into place. She hadn’t been imagining their feelings for her. They all cared for her. All three of them. She wasn’t in a relationship strictly with her husband. She was just as important to Riggs and Storm.

“Yes. I didn’t mean to point that out to you right now today. Bray is going to murder me in my sleep for burdening you with this information,” he exaggerated. “But you need to understand. You are not alone. Do you hear me? Braylon is not the only man who would give his life for you. We all would. And if and when we escape this fucking living hell, we’ll give you the most normal life we can possibly manage. You will have children, but they will live in a free society, not under the thumb of The Republic. I will love each of them as if they were my own. My blood. My heart. We all will.”

A tear escaped to run down her cheek, and she quickly brushed it away. She could cry her tears of relief later. Not now. Now she needed to be strong. She needed to give the performance of a lifetime. She needed to pretend she didn’t care that she was about to be impregnated by a stranger. It was the only way she could survive to see another day.

Playing this game would honor all three of the men who adored her. For the first time, she realized it didn’t matter who fathered the baby. Riggs had made it clear it would still be his in every sense of the word. Did Storm and Braylon feel the same? She had to assume that was the case.

What about the stranger in the basement?

She shuddered as she pulled her shoulders back and followed Riggs into the dining room.

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