Page 67 of Harbor (The Wanderers 3)

What she had to acknowledge was that she would never be able to compete with these men. If she challenged them, they would win every time.

“I made you some breakfast. I set some clothes on the dresser for you, or feel free to come out naked if you want.” He eased the covers back from her head, kissed her temple, and re-covered her.

So damn sweet.

How was she going to leave them and go back to her regular life? She’d thought she could keep her sexual awakening separate from her real life. She’d assumed she could let these three men show her something she’d been missing out on, take her places she’d never dreamed existed, and then walk away.

Her plan had been to flush them out of her system, enjoy some amazing sex, and then climb those stairs and carry on with the life she’d been living for seven years.

Now what? Staying wasn’t an option. She could play for a few days, but she’d suffocate here if she stayed much longer.

The problem was that leaving wasn’t an option either. Not unless she intended to leave her heart behind.

She never should have taken them up on their offer to explore her sexuality. It had been a mistake. Now she knew. She’d been living a perfectly content existence without having a single clue there could be more. Ignorance was bliss and all that.

As she rolled onto her back and lowered the blanket away from her face, she sighed. “Shit.”

What if she stayed a few more days? Or a week or two?

She knew the answer. That would just make it harder to leave. Hell, she hadn’t even had actual sex with any of them. They had been perfect gentlemen last night, giving and not taking.

She knew if she called a halt to this madness right now, they would back off and let her go. That’s the kind of men they were. That made it even harder. Why did they have to be so nice?

“Shit.” She bit her lower lip and closed her eyes, but every time she did so, memories of them touching her returned to torment her.

She was beyond grateful for the fact that she hadn’t been haunted by the nightmare she’d lived through ever since Dario had made her scream, forcing her to reclaim her power. The visions that tended to flash through her mind fled to a deeper corner after Keanu put his lips on her pussy and Advic thrust his fingers into her.

“Shit.” They were under her skin. They might always be on her mind. If she couldn’t stop thinking about them and put this experience away somewhere safe, only to be pulled out when she was alone… Hell, her life depended on her always being aware of her surroundings. She needed to pay attention to every sound and movement.

Maya lived in the shadows, working her way around the area, combing for people who were lost and afraid. People who deserved a chance at life. People who’d been abused and left for dead. People like herself. The self she’d once been.

Abused. Lost. Afraid. Left for dead. She’d been through all that and more. She’d climbed out of the emotional rubble more than once, growing stronger each time. This latest setback wouldn’t keep her down either. It was just a scratch.

Okay, maybe slightly more than a scratch. But it was healing. She would regain full use of her leg in the next few days. And then she needed to get back out there. Head for the compound to touch base with The Wanderers and let them know she was fine. Return to her regular routine of hunting and helping. It was what she did. It was who she was. It defined her.

Emotions swept in to overwhelm her. They weren’t welcome. She had no idea why she’d been so teary lately. It wasn’t like her to succumb to the rawness of life. She tended to put her past and all of its challenges in little boxes in the corner of her mind and trudge forward.

Could she put this interlude in a box too? Keep it separate in a special place where she could pull it out and smile sometimes?

“Shit.”

She hoped no one could hear the repeated expletive that kept leaking out from her lips. If they had, someone would have come to the doorway by now to check on her. Someone would have come into the room, set a hand on her shoulder, and told her everything was going to be okay.

Right?

She swallowed over the lump in her throat as the tightest box of all, the one she kept locked down hard in her mind, threatened to burst open.

It wasn’t the one from her rape. It wasn’t even from this decade.

Why now?Probably because she’d been underground too long this time. And her emotions were raw. And she’d spent too much time inside her head.

No. No no no no. Please.

She rolled away from the door so no one would easily see her face as she fought the demon.

No one came.

She tried to breathe deeply. Keep the box closed. Ignore it.

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