Page 35 of Harbor (The Wanderers 3)

She didn’t meet his gaze. This was embarrassing. It was the sort of conversations women had with their girlfriends, not with a man who was taken. But Stuart was her only real friend. The only person who understood her and knew her better than anyone alive.

“Some of us weren’t meant to settle down with a man or more than one man.”

“Maybe. But I think you should keep an open mind. What if this is where you were meant to be and these men are who you’re meant to be with?”

She shuddered. “No. I don’t believe it.”

“Why not?”

“For one thing, they live in this tiny space underground. You know how I hate being underground. It makes me feel trapped. I get antsy after a few hours. I’m climbing the walls because I’ve been down here so long.”

“You weren’t even conscious until a few days ago,” he pointed out.

“Well, a few days is a damn long time for me. I need to get back out there. Do my job. Breathe fresh air. Find lost souls.”

He chuckled. “Maybe you could come up with a balance? Some arrangement where you spend time in both worlds.”

She shook her head. “That’s not feasible. It’s not going to happen. I like my independence. I don’t want anyone worrying about me or hovering over me.”

“You don’t seem to mind when Advic hovers. I noticed he gets to touch you and you don’t pull away.”

“He gets in my personal space,” she muttered.

“Maybe you like him in your space?”

“Doesn’t matter. It can’t last.” She looked at him, meeting his gaze. “I thought about having sex with them to flush it out of my system. Not sure I could go through with it after what I’ve been through. I get sweaty just thinking about such intimacy. But… Well, do you think it might work?”

She bit her lip in anticipation of his answer.

He narrowed his gaze. “Do I think you might be able to purge yourself of your attraction by having sex? No. Fuck no. Not a chance. If you’re attracted to them, that will only grow stronger, not weaker.”

She sighed. “Dammit.”

He chuckled. “Maya, it wouldn’t kill you to let someone into your heart.”

“Someone?” she lifted a brow at him. “I’m fairly certain these three are a package deal, not one someone. It’s hard enough to imagine getting close to one man. Three is out of the question.”

She shoved back so she could prop herself up on the pillows a bit. “Advic kissed me,” she whispered, glancing at the door. “And I was unnerved to find out I liked it. But I panicked when his hand landed on my thigh. My thigh. Can you imagine how I might react if he touched me higher than that? Or, what if more than one person touched me at the same time? What if I felt trapped? What if they wanted to restrain me?” She shuddered violently.

Stuart grabbed her hand. “Slow down. You’re getting ahead of yourself. So far it was just a kiss. And you liked it?”

She growled. “Up until he touched my leg, yes.”

“Baby steps. Do these guys know about your past?”

She chewed on her bottom lip. “Some. I’m not sure how much.”

“How is that possible?”

“Because I must have mumbled a lot in my sleep while I was feverish. That’s how Advic decided I was your partner. He heard me talking about you in my sleep.” She flushed.

He smirked. “I feel honored. I think.”

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t let it go to your head. I’m pretty sure I was dreaming about the time you found me—when I wanted you to let me die.”

He drew in a slow breath. “Well, you’re past that now.”

“Am I? I was prepared to die this time too.”

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