Page 31 of Harbor (The Wanderers 3)

“I’m not giving up my life. I dedicate every waking moment to helping others. It’s all I need. Sex isn’t everything.”

“Sex is important,” he pointed out. “And passion. And love. People need to feel loved.”

“I feel loved. Stuart loves me. Other people at our compound love me. Just not romantically.” Sex was highly overrated anyway. She’d never understood the appeal even before she’d been raped. “This is my life. It’s what I was born to do. I can feel it in my bones. I’m not meant to settle down and have babies. It’s not in the cards for me.”

“There’s a huge gap between settling down to have kids and never having sex again,” he pointed out.

She shrugged. “It’s just sex. It’s not that big a deal.”

He stiffened again. “Uh… Did you have sex before…?”

She nodded. “Yep. Several times. Wasn’t impressed.”

He sucked in a breath. “What kind of idiots did you have sex with?”

She shrugged. “Regular idiots. Are there types?” she joked to lighten the mood.

“Well, sure. The type of idiot who doesn’t know how to please a woman is different from the type of idiot who misunderstands his woman’s nightmares and tears out into the night to find some dude he thinks is her true love.”

She could see his grin, and she couldn’t help smiling in return. But then she needed to set him straight. “I can’t be your woman, Advic. I can’t be anyone’s woman.”

“You said I awakened something inside you. Why not follow that feeling and see what happens?”

She reached for his cheek and cupped it the way he was cupping hers. “I seriously considered that option, I promise. I thought about throwing caution to the wind and letting you lure me into your bed. Perhaps all three of you. I thought, why not enjoy a good romp with three hot men and see what happens?”

She could feel his throat move as he swallowed.

“But then I realized several things. One, I might hurt you if I had sex with you and then left. Two, there was a good chance I wouldn’t be able to follow through with it in the end anyway. I’d probably have a panic attack and make a fool out of myself.”

“And?” he asked softly, leaning forward. “What’s three? That you might like it and then what?”

She gasped. He was right, though she’d never really pondered the possibility. “Unlikely. That would presume I was able to jump hurdle number two and then didn’t hurt your feelings after hurdle number one when I left after one round of sex.”

“Mmm.”

“I’m a wanderer, Advic. Like the name of the group of people I joined, I wander. I get restless. I don’t sit long. I don’t stay in one place. I’m not meant to be underground for long periods of time. I’m going stir crazy already and I’ve only been conscious a few days. I feel like I need to pick up the pace, start working out, do everything I can to get strong enough to walk out of here on my own.”

“Run, you mean. Run from your feelings. Run from being forced to face your feelings.”

She shrugged. “Maybe. What difference does it make? My feelings don’t change the facts. Even if the stars were totally in line. If I’d never been violated and was open to the possibility of entering into a committed relationship with three sexy doctors, none of that would change the fact that I would go crazy in this tiny underground clinic. I need fresh air and danger. It’s what keeps my adrenaline pumping.” It’s what keeps me from hyperventilating.

Advic’s hand held her head steady and he leaned in closer until their lips were inches apart. “You’re an amazing woman, Maya. I’m going to kiss you now.”

She gasped but didn’t have time to respond before his lips were on hers. He started out soft and gentle, his mouth covering hers in slow motion.

Something inside her snapped the moment he made contact. Something she hadn’t known was wound so tight it could snap. But it did, and she moaned against his mouth, unable to stop the reaction.

He angled his head to one side and deepened the kiss, increased the pressure, melded their lips together so they were no longer two sets but one.

Her hand slid from his face to his shoulder and she gripped him tight, uncertain if she was pushing or pulling. She didn’t want this, right? But damn it felt good. Her heart raced as it melted. Her breasts felt full and tight, her nipples rubbing against the front of her T-shirt with every breath.

When Advic’s tongue reached out to trail along the seam of her lips, she parted for him, desperate for more. Needing him to kiss her forever. His kiss chased away all the pain, all the worry, all her concerns. She floated out of her body, flying high on nothing but the pressure of his lips and the feel of his tongue tangling with hers, tasting her, dueling with her, tempting her.

He kept his hand on her cheek, never touching her anywhere else, but he leaned in closer, his chest pressing against hers, making her need grow at the pressure of his pecs against her breasts.

Nothing she’d ever experienced with a man compared to this. She was dizzy with a deeply hidden longing she hadn’t known existed.

She hadn’t been kissed in so long she’d forgotten what it felt like, but she was certain no kiss had ever felt like this. She was losing herself, sliding deeper and deeper under the spell of arousal. The spell was broken, however, the moment she turned her body to more fully face Advic. He jostled her leg and pain shot up to her thigh.

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