Page 40 of Nonverbal

Nope. Nope. Not going to do this. No no no no no.

I rush back into the cab before the driver leaves, not even caring what he’ll think when I use my AAC app.

“Uh, sure. You okay? Do you need to go to the hospital?”

I shake my head so hard a kink in my neck pops. The hospital is the last thing I need.

The man resets the trip, and then we’re on our way.

Once I’m back in front of Brody’s house, the flu fades. The shaking stops. I release a breath and give my body a moment to stabilize itself. I’m back to familiarity. To safety. To the soothing harmonic distortions of lofi beats. I’ll add downtown to my list of places to explore another day.

I walk inside to find Troy on the couch getting a blow job from Candy. She tries to keep going, but he shoves her away and covers himself with a pillow.

“Thought you went out with Amber or something,” he pants. “Sorry.”

I face the kitchen so they don’t see my eye roll, something I’m perfecting by being around Amber. I’ve reached my limit tonight. I’m tired of fighting. Amber abandoned me to get drunk and spend her time with unsafe people. Brody is MIA. And I can’t even enjoy an evening out doing my own thing by myself because I’m pathetic.

Mama’s right.

I swallow the lump in my throat. Now the couch I want to relax on is invaded by two people I really wish would disappear. They’re invading my home—my temporary home. Brody’s home.

Fine. I surrender to this crappy evening. I stab my phone with a finger. Then I open the fridge to grab a beer. I rarely drink, so I bet two will get me wasted. Getting drunk might distract me from being stuck in my room until the couch is free.

“Wow,” Candy trills. “She’s a little freak.”

Troy watches me pop open the can. “Everything okay there, Paige?”

I shrug and take a sip. I contort my face at the awful taste. Yuk. Why do people drink this bitter crap?

Troy laughs at my reaction. “IPAs aren’t for everyone.”

Without responding, I turn toward the hallway.

“Hey, wait,” he says. “Want a shot?” He lifts a bottle of tequila from the coffee table.

My fist clenches and opens. Clenches and opens. Stay in my room or stay out here? I’m so tired of being stuck in rooms.

Troy smiles at me. “You look like you could use some company tonight. It’s cool if you hang out with us.” He elbows Candy so she’ll agree. She shrugs and sighs at the carpet.

I nod, an unconscious response. I do need company tonight. Going out to party with strangers was a big step. Too big. I need to work my way up to that. But I can party here where I’m safe. Maybe I’ve been too quick to judge these two. Just because they like rough sex doesn’t make them bad people. At least they’re inviting me to join them instead of asking me to stay in my room all evening. Amber.

I sit on the recliner next to the couch and hold out my hand. Still gripping a pillow against his lap, Troy gives me a tiny glass of golden liquid.

Candy leans toward him and lowers her voice. It isn’t low enough because I can hear every word. “Should you be giving her that?”

“Yeah,” he whispers back. “Why not? She wants one.”

“Because she’s—” She glances at me through her black bangs. “Maybe she’s not aware of what she’s doing.”

I squeeze the glass between my thumb and forefinger. Yeah. Like I’m not aware you’re a bitch. I toss the liquid down my throat and hiss from the burn. Then I melt into the soft cushions as my stomach warms. Tension oozes from my body, and I’m wrapped in a warm, relaxing blanket.

Troy smiles at me with crooked lips. “Takes the edge off, eh?”

I nod.

“So—” He glances at Candy, then back at me. Candy and I are both looking at him, waiting for him to continue, but words seem frozen on his tongue.

I ask.

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