Page 29 of Destroy (Deadly Hearts 2)

After several minutes we are ushered through without further comment, and I breathe out in relief.

No one says a word.

It’s only when we finally pull up right outside the private jet, an action that I’m over-the-top grateful for, do we start to feel more at ease again.

Only now I’m faced with several steps up into the jet, and I can barely put one foot in front of the other.

I lean heavily on the railing and one foot at a time, make my steady ascent into the cabin. Sinking gratefully into the nearest chair, my hands are shaking and I’m sweating slightly. This is harder than I thought, not just physically, but mentally as well. I thought that I could push it all aside and act like everything is normal, when it’s not. It’s as far from normal as can be. And I’m not just talking about the abduction and assault. I’m sitting here with four men that claim to love me and are happy to be in a relationship as a five-some. I mean, what the fuck? You can’t make this stuff up. Seriously. It’s mind boggling. The fact that they still want to be around me, knowing what happened to me further cements in my mind that they are addled. What if I never want to be intimate again? Can I really expect them to hang around forever waiting, hoping? What kind of selfish bitch does that make me, when they can go off and make a life with someone else? It also raises a very sore subject with me.

Kids.

I don’t want them.

I used to.

Before.

Now, I just don’t.

Do they?

Do some of them?

What about marriage?

It’s not for me.

Do they want that?

Fuck, my head is spinning, and I feel sick.

I close my eyes and groan.

Declan brings me a glass of water, which I take with my eyes still closed and take a sip. “Thanks,” I mutter.

“Whatever you need, Princess,” he murmurs, taking it from me.

Whatever I need.

Fuck knows what that is right now. I haven’t got a fucking clue.

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