Page 21 of Destroy (Deadly Hearts 2)

“Not really. You did more than kiss the other night. I am under the assumption it wasn’t a one-off,” I try to keep the question out of my voice.

David remains completely silent. He has deferred to Declan in this matter and that also intrigues me seeing as Declan is a novice in this area by his own admission, whereas David has the experience.

“Noo,” Declan says slowly, drawing it out, “but to be honest, I hadn’t thought about it after everything that happened. The kiss outside was driven by solace and fear and self-loathing. Uhm, no offense, Sunshine,” he adds to David, who snickers.

“None taken. I figured as much,” he says.

“Is it something you wish to pursue? Both of you?” I want to hear from David. Need to hear. I need consent on both sides and for one or the other to not feel pressured. Not ever, but especially not now.

“Yes,” David says first. “If Declan wants to.”

“I do,” Declan says. “It was liberating and, I can’t explain it very well, but it felt right. Right time, right person…” He trails off with a thoughtful expression. “However,” he adds. “I don’t think I want a separate relationship.” He looks at David. “Whatever happens, it happens with Ruby. Is that okay with you?”

David nods. “Of course. I was of the same mind.”

“Great,” I chirp and then sigh. “But I need to say something now that you are all here.” I turn painfully and wearily on the dresser stool, and take in Ramsey near the bed, Layton standing guard at the door, David perched on the bed and Declan leaning against the vanity.

“I know what you’re going to say, and it’s not necessary,” Layton says. “We are here regardless of anything else.”

“I know that, but this relationship is so new. We have only been together as a whole once. I—I’m not sure when I will be able to—to have s—sex again. It doesn’t mean that I don’t love you all. I do. In different ways. I wasn’t sure about love. I never thought I would be able to love anyone or that anyone would or could love me. Past relationships, if you could even call them that, were always about what I got out of it. What they did for me. Anyone who wanted to date me for my business was told where to go. I am not ready to say the words to you all. I don’t know when I will say them, and I don’t know when I will be able to give my body to you again. If—if that is a deal breaker, then I completely understand.” I take shallow breaths, my eyes lowered.

“Ruby,” David says. “Look at me.”

I raise my eyes to his. “Layton has already said it wasn’t necessary to say any of that. We understand completely. There is no pressure here. None at all. If you never want to have sex again, we don’t care. We are here for you, and we will take our cues from you. As for saying you love us, what you’ve just said is everything. We don’t need to hear the rest.”

I nod, not being able to say anything for fear of choking on the sob that is threatening to explode out of me.

I give them all as much of a smile as I can muster and then after a steadying breath, I say, “I’m tired. Would you mind leaving me alone to rest now?”

“Of course,” Ramsey says, approaching me with caution and holding his hand out to help me up.

“Let me do it myself,” I murmur, and he drops his hand without protest.

He bends to kiss the top of my head and then he leaves, with David.

When he reaches the door, Declan says, “We will be here when you wake up. Rest, Princess. We’ve got you.”

I nod my thanks.

Layton turns to leave, but I say, “Wait.”

He pauses, his blue eyes meeting mine filled with curiosity.

I reach out and shove the small black pouch that was left on the vanity in plain sight. I know what’s in there and it’s time to capitulate. There is no way I can rest up enough to get on my feet tomorrow to go to Ireland with the pain I’m in right now.

“You sure?” he asks.

I nod. “I’m trusting you,” I whisper. “All of you, not to leave me.”

“Never,” he says, taking two giant steps towards me and dropping to his knees. He takes my hands and kisses them. “You have four men here who will die for you, sweetheart. You don’t have to be afraid to rest.”

Swallowing, I lean forward and press my lips to his forehead before pulling back quickly. It’s as much intimate contact as I can stomach right now.

“Jab my ass?” I ask with a laugh that I summon up from fuck knows where in my dark soul.

He chuckles. “Anytime,” he replies and picks up the pouch, unzipping it.

“Let me get on the bed and close my eyes. I can’t see them. I just…can’t.”

He stands up and steps back, letting me haul my battered body up by myself so I can hobble to the bed. I sink onto it with such relief it makes my head spin. I scrunch my eyes closed and tense up when Layton gently pushes me over slightly and lifts up my robe. It’s over with before I know it. He didn’t warn me. He just did it. And I appreciate it more than words can say.

“Thanks,” I mutter and unscrunch my eyes, but keep them closed so I can sleep. “What you did to your arm…” I mumble.

“Yeah?”

“I love it.”

He pulls the covers over me and kisses my forehead and then he leaves, closing the door behind him.

The fear of being alone and vulnerable is squashed by the morphine and soon I’m lulled into a sleep, knowing that if nothing else, I’m not really on my own. I have people who care about me and will keep me safe now.

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