Page 19 of Destroy (Deadly Hearts 2)

I whip her harder this time. It jolts her body, but I’m still being as gentle as I can. Much more and I will hurt her, and I would rather lose her forever than do that.

“Did he deserve it?”

“Yes, but it doesn’t change the fact that he is dead, and I killed him.”

I whip her again, making sure to angle the tails as far away from the letters on her back as I can.

“You are a bad girl,” I murmur.

“I know,” she says. “Can you forgive me, Daddy?”

“Of course,” I croak out.

I lift the whip one last time and this time, I strike her with enough force to mark her exquisite skin. If I don’t, she won’t feel as if she has been punished.

“Again,” she whispers. “Please, Daddy. Absolve me of these sins.”

I close my eyes and lash her back again and then again before I drop my arm to my side. I inhale slowly and then I take two steps to stand next to her, facing her as she stares blankly at the wall.

“If you ever ask me to do something like this again, Princess, it will be my decision to leave. Do you understand me?”

She turns her head slowly. It rips my heart out when I see the unshed tears pooled in her beautiful green eyes. But they aren’t tears of pain or torment or fear. It’s liberation. “Understood, Daddy,” she says and looks back at the wall.

I fling the whip onto the bed in front of her and storm out of the room, shoving David aside and catching a glimpse of Ramsey with his fist to his mouth, looking as if he is about to vomit. I understand that feeling.

I need to get away from her. I need air. I can’t breathe.

Stumbling out of the back door into the garden, I try to catch my breath. My head is spinning, and I want to crawl into a hole and die for what I’ve just done to her. What she just made me do.

“It’s okay,” David’s voice breaks through the thunder in my ears. “She’s okay. You did the right thing.”

“Did I?” I growl at him. “That’s easy for you to say. You didn’t just punish her for being raped, for the love of fuck. Why? Why did she want me to do that?”

“I’m new to all of this,” David says quietly. “I don’t fully understand the dynamic of this relationship you have with her, but I do know that she needed this. She is more at peace now. Go to her and you’ll see.”

I shake my head. “I should’ve called her bluff. I should’ve refused.”

David snorts. “Yeah, nope. Ruby doesn’t make idle threats. You’d have been out on your arse quicker than the speed of light.”

“Well, I don’t make idle threats either. She ever asks me to do anything even remotely like that again, I’m out of here.”

“Liar,” David says lightly.

I turn to him with a hiss of rage intending to punch him, but instead I draw back and throw my fist at the wall as hard as I can. Then I do it again.

“Stop that,” David says. “I’ve already cleaned your hand up once, now I’ve got to do it again.”

“Who asked you to?”

He shrugs and I search his hazel eyes. They are so full of light. There isn’t even a speck of darkness showing in them yet.

I reach out and to his surprise, I cup his face. “Keep being that annoying ball of sunshine for her. She needs you to be that for her. I want to be her everything but I’m just a cold, depraved killer swamped in a pitch-black filth that is bad for her. So very bad for her. Promise me, you won’t let the darkness touch you, David.”

“I promise,” he murmurs.

I nod and with the rage and frustration and pain of loving Ruby so much, it physically hurts me, I drop my hand to David’s throat, and I shove him up against the wall. I plant my lips on his in a kiss driven by fear and lust and heartache. His tongue touching mine sparks up a tiny bit of light, the light that burns for Ruby, but is currently choking under the smog of disgust I feel at myself for doing what I did to her. I don’t think I can ever forgive myself for absolving her of being violated. It makes me sick to my stomach. I won’t be able to look her in the eye for a while, nor myself in the mirror.

I am nothing but filth.

I don’t deserve her.

I pull back from the kiss, panting slightly. I don’t know if Ruby would approve of us kissing out here while she lies in bed, in pain and anguish. All I know is that even though I am no good for her, I can’t stay away from her. It is now my turn to ask for her forgiveness on my hands and knees… and hope that she bestows it on me, or I will be forever lost to the black hole that she pulled me back from, even when she didn’t know me.

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