ChapterSeventeen

Ruby

**Two Weeks Later**

Ireplace the cap and place the stick on the countertop. I set the timer on my phone and then gently close the lid of the toilet to sit on it, bringing my knees up to rest my chin on. It tugs on my scar, but I’m healing up nicely and can mobilize much faster and with more ease than before. Thank fuck. If I had to walk up and down stairs one at a time for the rest of my life, I would go insane.

I lick my lips and wait.

Three weeks have passed since…that day. I was due my period two days ago. I don’t know if it’s the stress, the trauma or the dreaded ‘p’ word that has caused me to be late. I’m not one to sit around waiting either. It has taken me these two days to get away from Declan for long enough to walk to the pharmacy in the small village to buy a pregnancy test.

I’ll admit that as I wait for the three minutes to be up, I’m scared. It is both the fact that I could be pregnant, but also the fact that it might not belong to one of the men that I care about. We all know condoms and the pill aren’t a hundred percent protection, even together. What if it broke? What if he had super-sperm that shot through? What if my pill failed for some reason…? What if…?

Just, what if it’s his?

I couldn’t bear it.

I know I don’t want kids. I had already made that decision years ago after I had a scare big enough to make me start looking at bassinets to buy. Derek was sweet, said he’d marry me and all that, but it wasn’t what I wanted. I considered having an abortion, but that just bordered on repulsive to me, so I stopped thinking about it as an option at the time. I was only twenty-two years old, and he was my first lover after the rape. Freshly moved from the States and trying to make my name over here with Derek’s help, I got involved with him when I knew I shouldn’t have. Half of me suspects he tried to get me pregnant on purpose. He was always talking about having a family, a legacy, I think he tried to have that with me because I was too doe-eyed and naïve to say no. I don’t hate him for it, maybe if it had turned out to be true, I would feel differently, but the false positive was proven when I finally got my period three weeks later. Or maybe I had a miscarriage. Who knows? Now, if I’m pregnant, there will be no way to know whose it is. I can’t take the chance. I will have to get an abortion.

I bite my lip and then stand up as the scar starts to protest too much. I pace up and down and then the three minutes are up.

With sweaty palms and a pounding heart, I pick up the pregnancy test and glare at it.

Inhaling deeply, I meet my eyes in the mirror and shove it in the back pocket of my jeans as there is a soft knock on the bathroom door.

“Ruby?”

I plaster a smile on my face and open the door. “Hey,” I say to Declan.

“Everything okay?”

“You don’t need to hover, I’m fine,” I reply.

“Can we talk?” he asks, looking nervous.

I frown and let him lead me into my bedroom “What’s up?” I ask.

He sits on the bed and takes a deep breath. I move around to the other side and quietly open the nightstand drawer, slipping the pregnancy test into it and closing it again.

“How do you feel about me still working?” he asks.

“What do you mean?” I ask back, going over to sit next to him.

“I mean, me going to work,” he replies exasperated.

“I know that,” I snap. “I mean, why are you asking me?”

“I don’t want to leave you, but a job has come up. It’s in Belfast, not that far away, I just…I don’t want to leave you.”

“I’m fine,” I say again and realize that maybe I need to shake up my crappy response before he suspects something isn’t fine. “I get that you need to work. I’m okay here, I promise.”

“Are you sure?” he asks, his brow creasing.

I nod.

“Cillian will look out for you.”

My heart skips a beat. I haven’t seen his twin since the day we kissed. I assumed Declan had warned him to stay away, but this says the opposite. “Oh?” I ask, my voice a small squeak.