Page 27 of Crush (Deadly Hearts 1)

ChapterFifteen

Ruby

Ihave no idea what to make of this new side of David. I always thought he was a good-looking man, but not only does he work for me, I assumed he wasn’t into women. Kind of wish I hadn’t taken him shopping with me for new lingerie a few months ago. Although, I didn’t get a vibe from him that he was perving over me. I’m just being silly and vain. Just because he likes women as well, doesn’t automatically mean he is into me, for fuck’s sake.

I’m almost glad when Ramsey interrupts us. “Can we talk?” he asks.

“Yes,” I say gratefully, needing to clear the air about Layton.

“Outside?”

I nod and follow him out, giving David a small smile.

Ramsey opens the back door of the club and props it open.

“I’m guessing Layton told you about what happened last night?” I jump straight in.

“He did,” Ramsey says carefully.

“I want to say that I hate the way I brushed you off last night. I was angry and my cheek hurt like fuck. Something had happened prior to me being jumped and I was trying to process, along with everything else, and your declaration came out of the blue. It’s no excuse. I should’ve been more sensitive and please know that being with Layton wasn’t any reflection on me trying to hurt you. I needed it and he was there. The upside didn’t come until later, as I’m sure he told you…” I pause but he doesn’t say anything. Those dark eyes are studying me and he’s taking it all in, but he expects more. It’s a tactic I usually employ myself. Stay silent, so the other person rambles themselves into a hole they quite often can’t dig themselves out of. Still, I need to say it and he needs to hear it.

“I intend to keep him around, but we aren’t together. I’m not one for relationships. Not in this life I’m in. They’re a liability and anyone close to me can be used against me. Case and point, Layton. Scott got one whiff of a chink in my armor, and he abused it. Do you see where I’m coming from?”

“Yeah,” he croaks out. “I know all of this, but I’m still willing to give it a go. I can be what you are looking for Ruby. I can give you the darkness you crave, but it’s up to you to realize that now. I won’t waste my time trying to convince you with words, but I will show you with my actions. I will be here for you, whatever you need, whenever you need it.”

I shake my head. “Ramsey…”

“Don’t reject me again, not yet,” he says quietly, taking my hand. “If you weren’t into this life, would you have me?”

I close my eyes and wish he hadn’t asked that question. “I can’t answer that. I am in this life.”

“But if you weren’t,” he persists.

“Then, yes, probably.” I give him what he wants. Only it also seems to also be what I want. The thought of not being with him now suddenly doesn’t make sense anymore. “But I don’t want darkness from you. I have Layton for that, and that’s not really you, is it?”

He raises an eyebrow at my use of present tense. “Then what do you want?” he asks, his voice low and dark.

“Normal,” I whisper, staring into his eyes. “As normal as a relationship can be in my world. I want dates and curling up in front of the TV. I want to laugh and cook dinner. I want to take you in a way that the woman inside me cries out for but my darkness squashes. I want to keep you separate from my work. I don’t want you to be any part of it.”

“But I am. Whether I work upstairs or downstairs, I’m here.”

“Then we can never have it,” I say sadly.

“Don’t,” he growls at me, crushing my hand. “Don’t fucking do that. Don’t give with one hand and take away with the other. I told you I will quit my job, but I can’t quit knowing what I know. That’s not fair, Ruby and you know it.”

“Life isn’t fair,” I say bitterly and drag my hand out of his.

“No!” he snaps and grabs my arm to stop me from walking away from probably the best thing that will ever happen to the girl I used to be before all of this. “I won't let you walk away from this. I love you and I will treat you like a queen. I don’t even care about your arrangement with Layton. You can have him how you want him, you can fuck each other in all the ways you need, as long as you come back to me. I need you, Ruby. Don’t not start this because you are afraid.”

“Afraid?” I balk at the word. “I’m not afraid of anything.” Okay, not true. I experienced real fear when Declan told me his name. Not because of him, but because he told me who he was. It’s a dangerous game with killer players and knowing the names and faces of assassins in this business is a big liability and he has, inadvertently, or maybe advertently, put me in danger by telling me. In fact, all of us now.

It brings it all home that the five of us are now in this together. Ride or fucking die, by the looks of it.

“Fuck’s sake,” I mumble, cursing the day I ever set foot in Giselle’s. Not that it matters. Declan would’ve wormed his way into my life somehow and at some point, dragging the rest of us down with him.

“Is that a yes?” Ramsey asks, a soft smirk forming on his lips.

“Yes,” I say, the disbelief in my tone evident even to my own ears. “Fucking, yes. But the second you can’t handle my arrangement with Layton, you are out. Do you hear me? You go, not him. I don’t want to see or hear even a peep of envy or jealousy. That has nothing to do with this. They are separate. And as for you working for me, well, fuck it. If this relationship goes south, you have made it clear that you can find another job, so…” I shrug.

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