Page 95 of Bad News Babe

ALEXIS, AKA PICKING AN ORBIT

Two weeks after mybeauty fiasco, I prepare for a festive homestead wedding. My four bridesmaids wear their best white shirts on the blazing hot day. Tuesday is my maid of honor. As part of her duties, she takes us out for another beauty day. This one doesn’t end with me looking a mess. I get my nails done, and my hair is super conditioned. I feel especially beautiful walking barefoot with Gary down the grassy aisle.

My soon-to-be in-laws are nice enough to set up plenty of tarps and canopies in the yard to ensure my pale family can sit comfortably. West waits under a decorative cover with his brother and cousins, all wearing white T-shirts and jeans.

Jared does the officiating. Standing with West—exchanging words meaning forever with this amazing man—I feel both overly alert and spaced-out.

I’m so relieved when Jared says we’re husband and wife, as if West can’t change his mind now.

The sun does us a solid by retreating behind clouds not long after our vows. Everyone can settle down and enjoy their meals, booze, and the mix of classic and alternative rock.

Gary wanders over and hugs me four times, each time a little harder. Finally, he says, “Don’t forget who didn’t bail.”

I understand his worry. Today is my first video call with Shania. Over the last week, my mom and I have texted back and forth a bit. I’m not sure how to connect with her. She says many nice things and claims she left Gary, not me. I could choose to let her back in my life for real. Or I can close the door. I’m unsure of the right answer.

“When you finish up with the womb lady,” Tuesday tells me before I go inside, “come play with us.”

I realize she worries Shania will make me feel bad. Even after only living in the house for a few weeks, I’m already part of the family. Tuesday shares her secrets. Val torments me and threatens to squeeze a fart in my direction when I annoy him. Emmett asks me to get him ice tea refills if he’s entranced by one of our better movies. Poppy and I cook dinner together every night. I was becoming a Mercer, even before West made it official.

“I’m dangerous with this super soaker,” Juno announces as she gets locked and loaded with a water gun like Tuesday.

Even Zelda embraces the troublemaking activity. Soon, they run around, spraying people to see who will chase them.

Entering the house, I feel West standing too close. He didn’t want me to talk to Shania today.

“What if she ruins your wedding day?” he asked last night.

“I’m starting a new life. I want to know if she’ll be part of it. Besides, if it goes badly, I’ll have a lot of fun stuff to distract myself with afterward.”

Nearly coming out of his skin with paranoia, he insisted, “You don’t need to do anything for her.”

Today, West isn’t much calmer as we sit in front of the laptop. My overly protective husband—squee—finally calls Shania.

Her beautiful face lights up the screen. Shania Fontaine has the same red hair as me, but she sports a spray tan that deemphasizes the ginger hiding underneath. Her hair seems a little too high, and she’s wearing too much makeup. But she’s the same attractive woman I remember from my childhood.

Hearing her talking to me, I reply in vague pleasantries like when I’m working. She says I’m beautiful and praises West’s good looks as he protectively crowds me. My mind wanders to my upcoming honeymoon in Arcadia, where we’ll stay with West’s cousin by the beach. He promises there is non-sunny stuff to do there.

Returning to Shania babbling about her favorite songs, I could keep this conversation going for a suitably polite twenty minutes. Except I think of the party outside with people who didn’t abandon me to be a lounge singer.

“Why didn’t you contact me all these years?” I ask, feeling heat behind my eyes as I say the words.

“Your father wouldn’t let me.”

Of course, Shania’s lying.Though Gary isn’t a good father, he’s far too chill to fight her on the issue.

While she talks shit about him, I remember when I was sick, and he stole cold medicine for me. Or the many times I got upset in high school after failing another test, and he’d remind me how learning wasn’t for everyone. Meanwhile, Shania lived a childfree, fun life as a kept woman.

“Did Gary make you stay in New Jersey?” I ask and smile when West takes my hand to reassure me that I’m not alone.

“No, baby,” she says, sounding rehearsed. “I had dreams. I wanted you to be part of them, but I had to choose. Sometimes, a person needs to think selfishly to improve their life.”

Frowning, I look at her beautiful face and realize she did what was best for her. And she clearly loves her life. That’s the real reason she never contacted me. Her life as a lounge singer is vastly better than anything she’d ever accomplish in Fork Falls. She really did make the best choice for herself.

And I’ve always been more like my mom than my dad despite how much I tried to mold myself into another Gary Toomey.

“I’m glad you’re happy,” I tell her as my smile grows. “I understand why you left, and I choose to forgive you. No hard feelings, really. But I have a great life now. West’s family has welcomed me into their home. I have everything I need now. So, I’m glad you didn’t fall off that bridge taking a selfie, but I don’t think we need to talk anymore.”

“Alexis, baby—”

“No, it’s just they’re having a water gun battle outside. I’d rather be doing that than talking to you. And sometimes, people need to be selfish to be happy. I know you understand, so good luck in Jersey.”

I hit the end button and smile at an unsure West. “Thanks for helping me talk to Shania, but I’m missing out on soaking people with a big water gun.”

West flashes the impeccable smile of a man in love. I’ll never understand why me rather than someone else. But in the last few weeks, I’ve come to accept that West Mercer knows himself. If I make his heart beat faster, I’d be a fool to worry about the details.

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