Page 40 of Bad News Babe

Alexis takes back her hand and sighs. “I was like one of those rogue planets, traveling in the darkness of space. I didn’t mind my cold existence. Why stress what I couldn’t control? Then, I met you, and your powerful gravity tugged me into your orbit. Being with you is warm and bright. I tell myself I’m a hip chick undaunted by a chaotic world. Whatever happens will happen. No stress. All the usual stuff I tell myself.”

Alexis downs the rest of her drink and breathes faster. “But the truth is I like your warmer, brighter orbit. This trajectory is so much better than anything I’ve known before.”

“That’s good, right?”

“But wanting something means hurting when that something goes away. What happens if I get knocked out of your orbit and end up back as a rogue planet?”

Cupping her soft face, I insist, “I’ll chase after you and draw you back.”

“But what if you’re what kicked me out of your orbit?”

“That’ll never happen.”

“But you don’t know why you want me.”

Feeling Alexis searching for logic to explain our magic, I try to make her understand.

“Look, my pa was a lot older than my ma. He met her when she was sixteen. Now, he could have found someone older. She’s hot but so are a lot of other chicks. But that’s not exactly true. There’s a reason he wanted her more than anyone else. That kind of magic is real.”

“For your family.”

“Yeah, and I’m a member of that family. That’s why it’s real for me, too.”

“But I’m not one of you.”

“Why do you like me?” I ask, changing gears when she won’t let herself see what’s so obvious to me.

“You’re hot and beautiful.”

“Those are the same things.”

“The beautiful part is your heart. You’re really sweet to me.”

“And people aren’t usually, are they?”

Alexis loses her “hip chick” vibe and seems so fragile. “When I was a kid, a girl at school was having a party. Me and some other poor kids from the trailer parks didn’t get invited. When I got my feelings hurt, Gary told me that sadness was pointless. It wouldn’t get me invited to parties or make anyone like me. Feeling bad was a punishment for me, not the person who hurt me. So why feel sad? A better plan was to pretend I never wanted to go in the first place. Eventually, that’s how I’d remember it happening. Then, I’d never be sad.”

“Did it work?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Alexis says and shrugs. “I’m not a sad person.”

“But I make you feel sad.”

Alexis looks at me with such longing when she says, “I really like the view from this orbit.”

“Good, because you’ll be seeing it for a long time.”

“Because of magic?”

“Sure. Or because I have a redhead fetish or whatever reason you want to believe. I just know I feel different with you than with everyone else. That feeling hit me five years ago and returned as soon as I saw you again.”

When Alexis remains unsure, I think about her parents and growing up in the trailer park. I’m so spoiled that I struggle to imagine a life that isn’t my own. But I finally settle on what might be holding her back.

“It’s okay to want more,” I tell her. “That first day, you asked for leftovers for your cousins. You got what you wanted, and nothing bad happened. It’s okay to expect stuff from me. Maybe that isn’t always true in your life, but you’re safe with me.”

Alexis deflates, seeming younger now than when I first saw her five years ago.

“What if you hurt me, and I’m never a hip chick undaunted by a chaotic world again?”

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