Page 94 of Knocked Up in Alaska

Chapter Twenty-Seven

“Hey, Lilah?”

“Hmm?” Ford’s teasing tone tugged at the corners of her lips, but she didn’t bother opening her eyes. Her sense of contentment was too bone-deep not to bask in it a little longer.

“I enjoyed my tour.”

Oh, yes, definitely pleased with himself. “I guess you found your way around…okay.”

“Okay?” The bedsprings squeaked as he braced his head in his hand. She felt him scowling down at her. “Just okay?”

Now an incredulous note crept in and made her want to laugh. “Um, you conducted a very nice tour.”

“Nice, my ass. You’re wearing a smile that won’t quit and says I conducted a better than ‘nice’ tour.” The cocky tone returned, full force.

Was she? She wouldn’t be surprised. The happiness inside her felt light and uncontainable, like someone had detonated fireworks in her heart. And why not? Her healthy, thriving baby slept like an angel in the crib nearby. She’d reconciled with her mother. Thanks to Bridget, and…well…Shay himself, the weight of self-recrimination she’d struggled under since the day he’d died had lifted. He’d bought her a ring. He’d wanted them to be a family—wanted to be part of her family and wanted Shayla and her to be part of his. Knowing this allowed her to accept the support he and the rest of his family offered without that suffocating guilt.

Last, but certainly not least, she was tucked up next to the man she loved, who was slowly, patiently, and very surely ruining her virgin mother status. Mia planned on staying in Captivity, which made her happy for both of them. After so much uncertainty, guilt, fear, insecurity, and some plain old bad luck, she no longer took happiness for granted. She would work for it. She would fight for it. But just now? Just now, she’d enjoy it. “Am I smiling?” She opened her eyes and looked up at him. “I’m probably just tired and sweaty. It was a long tour.”

He lifted on dark brow. “Maybe you’re smiling because you enjoyed my tour so much you had to moan into a pillow to keep from waking the baby?”

“Maybe,” she conceded and traced his grinning lips.

He dipped his chin and nipped the tip of her finger, shocking a laugh out of her. “What’s put that gorgeous smile on your face, Lilah? Surely my energetic and thorough tour doesn’t deserve all the credit.”

She turned onto her side, propped her head in her hand to mirror his pose, and drank in the sight of the darkly handsome, entirely self-satisfied male stretched out beside her. “Well, your momentous news makes me happy for you and Mia.”

His smile stretched into something dazed and slightly humbled. “Me, too,” he admitted. “God help us both, but I’m glad she’s staying.” His gaze sharpened on her face. “But I’m interested in your momentous news, too.” His smiled faded a little as he reached out and smoothed a tendril of hair away from her cheek. “Did you and Bridget make up?”

She nodded. “We did. Also”—she hesitated, trying to think of how to explain—“I know this is going to sound weird, but Shay and I made up, too.”

“Honey, that guy never harbored a harsh thought toward anyone, least of all you. There’s no way he was angry with you.”

“Maybe not, but I was angry with him. And with myself. I wasn’t being honest about something important, because I carried a lot of shame and guilt about it. All those feelings limited what I felt I could and couldn’t accept from him, or from the rest of the Shanahans on his behalf.”

Ford cupped her cheek. “He knew about the baby, didn’t he?”

She felt her mouth fall open. “How did you know?” She’d worked in customer service all her life. Put on a calm face and a smile for the outside world and never let a hint of your personal feelings show. She was good at that. Really good at it. Yet, somehow, he read her. He sawher. He knew her.

“The day you told me you were expecting—your birthday—when I asked you if he knew, you looked away before telling me no. I just…I don’t know.” A grin twitched the corner of his mouth. “You don’t outright lie often. You’re not good at it.”

Shame heated her cheeks. “I was lying. I’m sorry. I lied to everybody.”

He leaned in and kissed her gently. “Don’t worry about it. That was something between Shay and you. You could have told every one of us it was none of our damn business.”

“I guess I could have, but I desperately wanted the answer to be no. I didn’t want anyone to think he knew, and felt trapped, and…and…”

“And flew into a mountain?”

Stunned to hear someone say what Bridget hadn’t picked up on, or Trace, or even Shay, until they’d had that conversation, she simply nodded.

“Oh, baby,” he said softly, “put it out of your mind.” He kissed her forehead. “There’s no way it went down like that.”

“I spent months sick to my soul that it might have. What makes you so sure?”

“Because I’m not looking at his situation from your standpoint. For you, getting pregnant was scary. It was going to change everything about your life, and many of those changes were going to be incredibly rough. Your support network had always been woven with one thread, as far as you could see, and the pregnancy was going to sever that thread—potentially for good—so yeah, you stood to lose a lot, and that was understandably terrifying. But Shay was in a much different place. He wasn’t a sheltered kid with no life experience, no independence, and no means of support. He didn’t stand to lose his job, his family, or his future over the pregnancy. In fact, the whole situation presented nothing but gain, for him. He had everything to live for. Fate had just handed him the ultimate adventure. He loved an adventure, and”—he trailed his fingers along her hairline—“you and Shayla? You two would have been the making of that guy. There’s no way he chose to turn away from that.”

Something about the way he portrayed her in the dynamic bothered her, but she couldn’t get a grasp on why. None of what he said about her was inaccurate, but still… “Well, you’re right, as it turns out.” Pushing past the prickly urge to stick up for that “sheltered kid” who had managed to do okay in less-than-ideal circumstances, she recounted the trip to the jewelry store in Anchorage.

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