Page 21 of Knocked Up in Alaska

“She has hands?”

“Two of ’em.” Trace scowled at his needles. He had four loose, highly irregular loops lined up on one of them.

“They’re impressive,” Archer said. “Weirdly gravity-defying.” He was getting nowhere with his casting on.

“Uh…I don’t think you’re looking at her hands, Archer,” Wing pointed out. “Come on, guys. Focus. I need to see what happens next.”

Ford checked out Wing’s progress and nearly spilled his beer. The mechanic had a neat, full row of off-white yarn loops lined up along one needle. “Shit. Someone’s kept his eyes on her hands.”

“It’s a series of slip-knots, knuckleheads. Once you get the hang of making them, it’s rote. You can spend more time appreciating her other assets.”

“Excellent point.” He picked up his needles, held his yarn the way the lovely and talented Natazia demonstrated. So far, so good. Then she did her slip-knot maneuver and lost him. The yarn slid free of the needle as if he’d performed a magic trick. “Fuck.”

“What is going on here?”

Ford looked up and over to find Rose standing beside his chair, taking in the table.

“We’re learning to knit,” Trace answered.

The woman’s dark eyes went round, and her eyebrows disappeared. “Why do you do this?”

“Long story,” Ford said. “Let’s just leave it at we lost a bet.”

“Hmm.” She crossed her arms and continued to stand there. Ford did his best to block her out and tried to cast on again. Wrap the yarn around two fingers, in a X, stick the tip of the needle in, over the one, under the other, pull it through, and… “Goddammit.” The loop Natazia promised once again failed to materialize.

“No. You’re doing it wrong.” Before he could protest, Rose reached around, took a needle from him, grabbed the yarn, and slowly demonstrated the moves, ending with a perfect looped knot on the needle.

He looked over at her, hope surging. “You know how to knit.”

She tipped her head. “Why the surprise? I know how to do many things.”

Mad jumped up, grabbed his pattern, and rushed over to her. “Rose, I will pay you cash money to knit this for me.”

The rest of the table raised immediate objections, but Rose stared at the picture of the hat and booties, brows low, stoic frown in place. “Why are you knitting this?”

“Uh.” Mad looked vaguely uncomfortable but forged ahead. “For the baby.”

“What baby? My grandbaby?”

They all nodded. “We lost a bet,” Trace reiterated, clumsily working another loop onto his needle. “A stupid bet.” He glared at Wing.

“Hey, you’re the one who bet Bridget she could learn to knit.”

“You’re the one who said it was a female skill, thus starting the whole idiotic battle of the sexes. A battle we lost. Goddammit!” Two loops slipped off his needle.

“You intend to learn to knit from…” Rose gestured disdainfully at their knitting guru.

“That’s the idea,” Ford confirmed.

“No.” Rose shook her head. “My grandbaby will not have things made from…” She said something in her native language he interpreted as “talking tits.” “I will teach you.”

Apparently in-person lessons and the prospect of pawning off some of the trickier parts of the projects to their self-appointed mentor held more appeal than knitting with Natazia. Wing murmured, “I’ll see you later, babushka,” to the screen before powering down the tablet.

“I will start here and work my way around,” she announced and knelt beside Ford’s chair. Extending a long arm, Trace pulled an empty chair from the adjacent table and swiveled into place for her.

“Thank you,” the older woman said and took the seat. In silence, she examined the picture of cap and booties on Ford’s pattern, then read over the instructions—instructions Ford had discovered contained many abbreviations that meant nothing to him. Might as well have been Navajo code. Finally, she inspected his needles and yarn. “Start with the hat.” She picked up the needles and showed him how to cast on. After demonstrating twice, she pulled the loops out and handed it to him. “Now you.”

So much for free labor. Still, the up-close demo had helped. With a better idea of how the slipknot was to be accomplished, he managed to load one onto the needle. Held it up to Rose for inspection.

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