For a moment, she thought she saw tears in his eyes. The guilt intensified. Then he blinked, and she didn’t see anything but resignation. “You don’t love me. That’s why I’m not going to ask you to marry me again.”
Relief flooded her being.
“But let me ask you, where’s it going to get you, loving him?”
She gasped. “L-loving who? I’m not with anyone else.” That was kind of true.
He looked at her like he was pissed that she would dare to lie.
“You don’t have to believe me, Morris. I’m not in the mood to argue with you.”
“No, we’re not going to argue.”
She breathed a sigh of relief when he dropped down on the couch beside her and grabbed her hand. Pulling and tugging did nothing to get free. They played a game of tug o’ war for a minute until he slid all the way to the floor and knelt in front of her.
“Morris, get up! You said you weren’t going to do this. I won’t be guilt tripped into dating you, so if that’s what you think forget it. And I won’t be held hostage in my own apartment. If you think I’m not going to call the police, you’ve got another thought coming.”
“He’ll never marry you!”
“Shut your damn mouth.” She swore under her breath, annoyed that he riled her. He wouldn’t believe she wasn’t seeing someone else. That was another of Morris’ faults. He was jealous as hell. Bryson never seemed to be jealous even when things were going good between them and they flirted. Then again, why would he be jealous? He didn’t care about her like that.
Morris grew quiet. “I don’t mean it like that, Charon. I’m not trying to pick a fight. I love you so much, baby.”
She flinched at the endearment.
“I’ve probably got nothing on him. I pack boxes all day and only get paid a few dollars above minimum wage, which I had to bust my ass for. But I know I love you, girl. I would do anything for you—including pretending you didn’t spend the weekend with another man.”
Her mouth fell open, and he nodded.
“Yeah, I know about him because I called, and he answered.”
She almost fainted.
“He said I had a choice.”
For a moment, hope rose in her heart, thinking somehow Bryson had told Morris to back off. A beat later, common sense returned. If Bryson felt that way, he wouldn’t have let her fly home, and she would have heard from him in the last week. They hadn’t spoken once, and her life never felt so empty. The two of them had already made their choice.
She and Bryson didn’t love each other enough.
The realization hit her hard. Her life wasn’t some romantic movie where the hero and heroine left all to follow the love of their life. For that matter, Bryson never asked her to leave her life behind and join him in his city. They had always made their desired lifestyles clear for each other. From her first conversation with him, she knew he thought marriage was just a tool for stepping up socially and financially. He knew she wouldn’t live in a big city like New York if someone paid her.
A sound from Morris brought her back to the present. “What kind of choice did Bryson say you have?”
“Bryson. Is that his name?” He wrinkled his nose in distaste. “Sounds like one of those uppity people with money. Was he slumming with you, seeing what it was like to get one of our Black women?”
“Don’t even start with that crap.”
“Charon, I don’t care that you love him. He doesn’t plan on being with you, so I’m here to say if he doesn’t want you, I do. If you feel like you don’t have anything left because he’s gone, then let me fill that hole.”
She covered her mouth and blinked away tears.
“I’m not going to ask you to marry me because you don’t want me to. I’ll just be your boyfriend, if that’s what you want. You can set the terms. I’ll accept whatever you say. If the day comes when you want to get married, I’m here. If you want kids, I got you. If not, that’s all right too.”
She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. His heartfelt words cut straight to her core. Morris had never spoken this way. He had never opened his heart to appear vulnerable. In fact, his first proposal was the most unromantic offer she’d ever heard. This though, he was a different man, and she didn’t know what to say. She supposed, he deserved the absolute truth.
“You’re right.” She touched the back of her hand to her nose. “I love Bryson. I’m so sorry, Morris. It’s true. I don’t know what I’m going to do without him in my life.”
Morris crumbled and turned away. He sat on his butt with his hands on his knees and his head bowed. Her heart broke for hurting him.