Page 25 of Beyond Reach

“Go on.”

“I…” Her heart hammered out of control. He gazed at her with such intensity. This man had loved her deeply, far deeper than she could have understood back then. He had recovered, but would he hate her if he knew the truth?

Garner touched her arm, and a chill raced up her spine.

She had to say it and then get out of there so he could deal with the news in his own way. “I was pregnant with your baby. I lost it in the accident along with my parents, and what no one knows is, the accident was my fault.”

Chapter 10

All the blood left his face. He went still, hardly blinking or breathing. His mouth opened, but no words came out. She could almost see the wheels turning in his head as he replayed her words, trying to make sense of them.

“You…” he managed and ran a hand over his head.

“It was m—”

“Don’t.”

The guilt that almost swallowed her years ago resurfaced. She spun away from him and walked around the wall panel. His gaze burned, and she had to escape it. Her chest and throat burned as well. Air caught there made it a struggle to breathe. Tears welled in her eyes.

No, she wouldn’t cry. Not now. And yet, she did. The tears rolled silently down her face. She wiped her nose and tried to sniff without making a sound. Reaching for her purse, she realized she must have sat it down somewhere.

Garner appeared, and she was shook to her core. His eyes were wet, but no tears fell. She’d never seen him so hurt. It tore her insides apart. “I’m so sorry,” she sobbed. “I never meant to hurt you, Garner. I never meant to lose our baby.”

“Shh.”

He reached for her, but she wasn’t sure it would be a kind touch. As she turned to run, she was pulled backward and fell against his chest behind her. His arms encircled her and held on tight.

He touched his chin to the top of her head. She looked down to see his arms and felt the warmth from his touch. Her head spun. Comfort cut through some of the misery.

“You shouldn’t do that,” she told him. “I was wrong.”

“I want to know the details.”

His breath stirred her hair.

“But not yet. I can’t hear it right now. God, it hurts. You know how much I love children, Chanda. My child? Lost? I can’t imagine it and yet to know it’s true…”

A tremor passed through him. Their bodies were connected, but it wasn’t intimate. More like necessary to keep from breaking apart. She helped him to keep standing as much as he helped her. Many nights she had lay alone, crying, sick, and hopeless. The news was all new to Garner. Maybe she should get Marcella to be with him at a time like this.

“I should…” She started to pull out of his hold, but he kept her where she stood. She touched his forearm. “Garner.”

“Give me a minute, please.”

She owed him that much. He continued to grieve. She could almost feel it. He turned his head sideways and laid his cheek on the back of her head. She shut her eyes and let him stay where he was, absorbing his warmth. This was what it would have been like if she had told him years ago about what happened. They would have grieved together, still in love, still a couple. Maybe.

“H-how far along?” he asked after some moments.

“Two months.”

He let out a torturous breath. She looked over her shoulder at him the best she could, given they were so close. “I’m not making light of our loss, but you’re about to get married, Garner. You can have more children. I’m sure you’ll have as many as you want. You’ve always wanted a big family.”

“And so have you.”

They’d laughingly talked about it, even though they were both young at the time and not finished with college. Kids were something to consider in the future. That’s why she was so surprised when the doctor told her she was pregnant after the accident. Before she could get excited, he informed her she’d lost the baby.

“I never missed my period,” she explained. “I didn’t know. It’s rare, but it happens. Marcella—”

He touched her cheek, his fingers brushing her lips, probably not intentionally. Whatever words he’d started to say fell away as they stared into each other’s eyes. She was transported in an instant to the past when she first kissed him.

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