“Roxie understands what I went through. She was there after all.”

“From your hometown?”

“Yes.”

“What do you guys do, marry your first cousins? I noticed you all have silver eyes.”

He chuckled. “No, we don’t. That’s a strong gene from…uh…the area where we come from.”

“You think I’m stupid, that I can’t tell when you’re lying to me?”

“I don’t.”

“Then tell me plainly, Declan. Stop making crap up. You’re standing there telling me that shallow woman understands you better than I do, like our friendship all this time means nothing.”

He spun to face her. “I’m not saying that. I love you.”

She wobbled like she would fall over, and he rushed to catch her. She swatted his hands away and backed up a step. “Don’t even.”

“As my friend,” he emphasized. “I care about you, and I won’t leave you. I’ll always look after you.”

“I hear a ‘but’ in there.”

How could he give her an adequate explanation? She deserved a million times better than him. “While I’ve struggled to protect you all this time, I’ve known at my core, I’m not worthy.”

“Don’t give me that!”

“You asked for an explanation, and this is all I can give.”

“You’re going to marry Roxie.”

“She knows about me.”

Janessa made air quotes. “About your ‘brokenness’?”

“Yes.”

“And she accepts it?”

“Yes.”

“I thought you told me you will never marry and never have kids. You said you never want them.”

“I didn’t.”

She stood in silence, and he could read every emotion that flitted across her face. All of a sudden his willingness to deny the truth vanished. The words tumbled from his lips as he drew her into his arms.

“I love you as a man loves a woman, Nessa.”

She gasped.

“I’ve felt that way about you from the beginning, but I equally knew it could never be. If I could be okay with making you my wife and put my children inside you I would do it in a heartbeat.”

A choked sob escaped her. She held onto him, pressing so close, he felt her entire length and nothing felt more right. God, how he loved her. In his own head he could admit it at last, but what did it matter? Because he loved her, he couldn’t subject her to a husband like him.

Pain radiated in his mind and his body. He shook but held himself rigid to suppress the emotion. He moved a hand up her back and pressed her closer. Her muffled sobs broke him. There wasn’t anything he wanted more than to marry her, right then.

In some ways it felt good to tell her he loved her, so he said it again. “I love you, Nessa.”