Page 38 of A Treasure Worth Seeking

God! What had he almost done?!

Erin watched with a feeling of empty helplessness. Lance’s shoulders slumped, and the heels of his hands were digging into his eye sockets while his fingers made deep furrows in the thick, mussed, sun-gilded hair. His chest was heaving as he gasped for restorative breath.

Finally, he raised supplicant eyes to her and opened his arms in a gesture of bewilderment. “I’m sorry,” he said. “Never, never in my life have I… If I’ve hurt you… I’m sorry,” he repeated hoarsely. He squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger. He spoke more to himself than to her in a voice full of desperation. “I don’t know what’s happening to me.”

* * *

Melanie seemed unaware of and indifferent to the tension between the other two passengers of the car. The three of them rode home in remote silence.

Erin had noted that her sister-in-law’s eyes were red and puffy, testifying that she had been crying recently. The usually effervescent woman had barely mumbled a hello to her and Lance when they pulled into the garage and she had climbed into the backseat. Lance had instructed Clark to stay with the car until the minor repair was made.

Melanie huddled in the corner of the backseat and made it apparent that she wasn’t in a mood to talk. Since her arrival in San Francisco, Erin didn’t remember seeing Melanie quite this despondent. It was a depression too deep for tears, a hopeless despair that finds no release through normal channels.

As soon as they walked through the front door of her house, Melanie apologized, but excused herself and ascended the stairs.

Not a word was exchanged between Lance and Erin. She hung her coat on the hall tree and proceeded into the kitchen to get a drink of water. When she walked back through the hallway toward the stairs, she met Lance as he was coming out of the living room after consulting with Mike.

The cold, impersonal nod he gave her was like that of a stranger. Only today she had been lying in his arms, listening to an outpouring of passion. She knew his body intimately, yet she knew the man not at all. His anger had been explained. He had overheard her conversation with Bart and totally misconstrued it.

How could he think her capable of such duplicity? Did he truly think that she could take what had happened between them so casually? If he did, he didn’t know her. Which was precisely the point. They didn’t know each other in the ways that were important.

Once she got to her room, it didn’t take her long to prepare for bed. She had just snapped out the light in the bathroom and was crossing to the bed when there was a timid knock on her door.

“It’s me.”

“Come in, Melanie. I’m not in bed yet,” Erin answered.

Melanie came in dressed for bed with a light robe covering her nightgown. “Am I disturbing you?”

“Of course not.”

“How was your day?” Erin asked the younger woman who collapsed dispiritedly into the armchair.

“It was terrible, Erin.” The blond head shook from side to side. She twisted the wedding ring on her finger. “My parents drive me crazy. They called early this morning, insisting that I come visit them today. Do you know what they wanted to see me about? Divorce. They want me to file for a divorce from Ken.”

“Oh, Melanie! How could they even suggest such a thing at a time like this?”

“I don’t know. I wouldn’t even listen, of course, but they kept on giving me all the reasons I should. They don’t honor the one reason that I wouldn’t. I love Ken.” She buried her face in her hands and began to cry with wracking sobs that tore Erin’s heart in two. She knelt down in front of her sister-in-law and drew her into comforting arms.

“It’s Father’s fault that Ken did what he did anyway. He was always pressuring Ken, giving him impossible tasks at the bank and then embarrassing him in front of other people when he couldn’t carry them out. Ken tried very hard, but his best was never good enough. For the past year or so, he wanted to change jobs, but I begged him not to. Father didn’t have any sons, you see, and I thought that Ken might be able to fill that gap that I couldn’t. I was so selfish. I didn’t see what all of this was doing to Ken as a man.”

“Don’t blame yourself, Melanie. Ken is an adult. He may have been hurting inside and feeling insufficient and in

secure, but he’s done something wrong and he’ll have to pay the consequences. He realizes that. He doesn’t blame you, I’m sure.”

“Then why hasn’t he even tried to contact me? I haven’t seen or heard from his since he left for work that morning. Erin, I’m miserable without him.”

Erin sighed and patted Melanie on the back, providing what small amount of solace she could. “I think he doesn’t contact you because he loves you. He doesn’t want you to become involved. He’s protecting you.”

“I could use less protection and more of him.”

Erin smiled gently. “I can understand that, but I doubt if a man could.” Her thoughts turned introspective for a moment and she said, “They see things so differently than we do.”

Melanie blew her nose on a tissue Erin handed her. Wiping the tears out of her eyes, she said, “I haven’t been around to help you today. I haven’t even asked how you felt.”

“I’m fine. Much better.”

Melanie nodded absently. Erin could see that she was still distraught. Her husband’s absence was causing her anguish, anguish she must suffer alone.

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