Amém.
 
 Pai nosso, que estais no céu
 
 Santificado seja o Vosso nome…’
 
 ‘Is he starting all over again?’
 
 ‘Priests have been known to recite the Lord’s Prayer up to thirty times in a row, especially in situations of carnal temptation.’
 
 ‘Carnal temp- I’ll give him carnal temptation!’
 
 Fuming, I marched over to the young man kneeling on the ground.
 
 ‘…Venha a nós o Vosso reino,
 
 Seja feita a Vossa vontade…’
 
 ‘Hey, you!’
 
 ‘…Assim na terra como no céu.
 
 O pão nosso de cada dia nos dai hoje…’
 
 ‘I’m talking to you! Open your peepers!’
 
 ‘…Perdoai as nossas ofensas,
 
 ‘Assim como nós perdoamos a quem nos tem ofendido.
 
 E não nos deixeis cair em tentação…’
 
 ‘I’m not going to bloody tempt you! I don’t even want to tempt you! And trust me, you most certainly don’t want to be tempted by me!’
 
 ‘Mas livrai-nos do mal,
 
 Amém.
 
 Pai nosso, que estais no céu…’
 
 ‘Are your ears corked or something?’
 
 ‘…Santificado seja o Vosso nome,
 
 Venha a nós o Vosso reino…’
 
 I decided that extreme measures were necessary. Taking a few determined steps, I positioned myself behind the priest.
 
 ‘Mr Linton?’ Mr Ambrose stepped forward. ‘What are you doing?’
 
 ‘Getting this gentleman’s attention,’ I told him, and booted the priest firmly in the backside. He ended his prayer in a yelp and flew forward, landing face first in the mud. Spitting out dirt and a few surprised bugs, he rolled around to stare up at me with a mixture of horror and incredulity.
 
 ‘You…you are real?’
 
 ‘As real as it bloody gets!’
 
 The priest’s eyes wandered up and down my figure, cautiously.
 
 ‘You are not a figment of my sinful, lust-filled imagination?’