She absolutely loved it, and asked me to work on it for another few weeks before showing her a more complete outline. Then we could call in a professional web designer to polish the layout and make everything functional.

Strangely, I wasn’t sure whether I was more proud of the work itself, or that I’d gone ahead and done something without talking myself out of it. It felt so good to take a chance and put myself out there, even through the nervousness. Taking control of a situation was oddly satisfying.

I absolutely couldn’t wait to tell Jared. It was difficult not to call him on my lunch break, but I wanted to see his eyes when I told him in person.

At five after six, I had checked my make up three times, and finally locked up the store so no last-minute customers came in.

But Jared hadn’t called or sent a text all day. The old, shy me would never say a word, but Jared seemed impressed whenever I forced myself to be more outgoing, so that’s what I was going to do.

Me: Hey – just checking in. If you’re running late, that’s fine, but please let me know so I can wait for you in the coffee shop.

After ten minutes, there was still no answer.

Me: I’m in the coffee shop, just grabbing a snack. Give me a call and let me know what’s up.

My stomach was beginning to twist in knots. Logically, I knew that Jared probably got tied up at work. If he was in a meeting, he couldn’t just drop everything.

Staring out the window I sipped my tea slowly. Come to think of it, had Jared ever mentioned meetings? I recalled trying to ask him specific things about his work, but had he ever given me a straight answer?

The shifting tension in my stomach grew. I didn’t even know where Jared lived. Sure, we’d only been together a week, but he hadn’t even mentioned a neighborhood, had he?

Mentally combing through every conversation, I couldn’t latch on to any mention of friends, or specific work events. Everything had been vague, or “years ago”.

There were so many horror stories of people falling for lies and deception because they were so eager to fall in love too fast. Was that what I was doing?

Was I so desperate for someone’s approval that I was only seeing what I wanted to?

I knew that in many ways Jared was way out of my league, but he seemed excited by our budding relationship. Somehow I was going to have to find a way to relax, and just let things happen.

That sort of thing never came naturally to me, but I was going to have to try.

12

_____

Jared

I could only use my phone for work while I was up in the crane, so it was hell to wait until quitting time to return Tara’s messages. All night long, through errands and dinner, we were constantly in touch.

Guiding the conversation so that we never discussed work, I learned a lot more about her. Every fact I uncovered was like discovering a new piece of this precious girl.

Tara loved suspenseful movies, but not horror. She loved being on the edge of her seat about to scream, but no blood and guts.

She liked a wide variety of music, as long as the singer wasn’t hollering in that “crunchy death metal voice”, as she had put it.

She loved almost every kind of food, but tried to eat vegetarian a few days a week in a low-key effort both to stay healthy, and to be more environmentally aware.

Everything about Tara seemed well balanced. She was blissfully normal in so many ways. I’d known women who needed high drama at all times, and that didn’t seem to be in her nature, which was a great relief.

Wednesday afternoon, I had another hour left on my shift, but the crew was finished with the crane for the day.

Some people liked to take off the second they were done, but I always felt it was good to check in with the team to hear how everyone was doing. Plus, taking a stroll through the open air of a partially-finished building always gave me a bit of a thrill.

Vincent, Mark, and Bobby were having a coffee just three semi-open stories down from the roof, with work happening all around and above their spot near the framework of a corridor.

“Slackers,” I chuckled as I walked up to them. Part of working well together was giving each other shit as often as possib

le.