Page 40 of Happily Ever Laughter

Diana leans close. “Where’s your name?”

I carefully read the entire panel of copy again. Each comedian is listed in order, then music by FJM Studios, then the editors, and lastly the station. No mention of the videos at all.

“It’s likely just a mistake,” Claire says quickly as she realizes what we’re staring at. “You said this was put together super fast at the last minute, right?”

“It doesn’t matter,” I say quietly, trying to force a smile. “Everyone liked it. That’s what’s important.”

“Maybe this is just a first draft or something,” Becca says brightly.

Although logically I realize that’s possible, my heart has already sunk like a stone. My very first creative project, and my name isn’t in the credits. All of the people in this room who enjoyed my videos, and the way they enhanced the show, don’t know who did them.

I feel incredibly hurt.

Elizabeth nods, frowning like I am, then she shakes her head. “Well, that outright sucks.”

I don’t know why it feels like a sign. The first time I put some of my work into the world, something screws up.

“We’ll wait here if you want to go talk to Felix about it,” Claire says, giving my arm a squeeze.

My mind is instantly flooded with different versions of what I could and should say.

The problem is, every single one of them makes me sound like a whiny brat. Felix has been so wonderful to me that I don’t want him to know how much this stings. And there’s absolutely no way I can keep the anguish from my eyes if I look at him right now.

Even though it might be childish, I feel like I’ve been abandoned somehow. It’s illogical, but the searing hole in my chest is real. It makes me wonder if Felix isn’t nearly as perfect as I’ve been thinking.

There’s definitely a chance that I’ve been wearing giant rose colored glasses.

“No, I can’t,” I swiftly whisper. “Please, can we just leave?”

Sneaking a glance back over my shoulder, the severe looking woman is shaking Felix’s hand and smiling widely. Oliver catches my eye and waves me over, but I shake my head as we rush out of the theater.

Diana drives us all home, and I’m relieved that the girls pick up on my mood and talk about anything other than tonight. She drops me off last.

“Tanis, you’re allowed to feel every single thing you feel,” she says quietly. “You had high hopes that everything would be perfect, and now you’re hurt. It’s okay to feel that.”

“Should this feeling be directed at Felix?” I ask, slipping off my seatbelt so I can turn to her.

“I don’t know,” she says sadly, shaking her head. “I don’t know enough about him, or the two of you together.”

“I feel…betrayed. Wounded. But I know that’s an overreaction.”

Diana sighs. “Feelings are not always logical. They don’t always progress in a straight line. It’s possible that you had your hopes so set on everything being perfect that anything less than that is unacceptable.”

“That’s not fair.”

Her fingers tap on the steering wheel. “Life’s not fair. Feelings aren’t fair. The human mind is a convoluted mess of memories and feelings that tangle us up sometimes.”

Nodding, I grab my purse. “Thanks. And thanks for the ride.”

“You’re welcome. For what it’s worth,” she smiles, “I thought your videos were the highlight of the show. They were both funny, and incredibly beautiful. I hope that you’ll make a thousand more.”

“Thanks.”

I fall into bed with a racing mind and pounding, hollow heart. My phone has three messages and seven texts, but I know if I read them, there’s a chance I’ll be up all night crying.

I know I shouldn’t have just left like that, and I’m upset that I disappointed Felix. But I’m equally upset that he disappointed me.

Even though I’m fully aware that I am being a baby, I can’t help it. I really did want everything to be perfect. I secretly wanted people to see my name and see me as a creative person for the first time ever. Official. Legit.

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