Page 36 of Don't Trust Him

She’s waiting on me to say something, but I don’t.

“I think about what our own crew would be like. Not just the temporary stuff,” Eliza starts.

She’s filling the silence with an answer. Eliza looks at me and I think she almost shakes as she gets the words out and she says them a little too fast.

“I’m thinking about if we ran our own game.”

This is hard for her. Do I ever fucking get that.

“I’m thinking about if we were more than just one night, and if we were never enemies again,” Eliza says. The way she finishes her words, like a gust of wind shutting a door, it brings a chill down my spine. I pull her tighter and squeeze her. Kiss her on the forehead.

“Yeah, I think that, too,” I admit. “I think it a whole hell of a fucking lot. And I think I know better than anybody us else how much you don’t fuck with your goddamn cartel. In Bonita Muerte, that’s a way to get a visit from me…” I run a hand through my hair and look at her, shaking my head. “But they fucking need us more than we need them. I can handle myself, and you’re fucking scrappy, Eliza, and I’d never let anything happen to you.” I choke for a second but the words already started coming. “I fucking think about burning them to the ground. Like you can’t run. You gotta fight. And I would do it. I would fucking kill every other member of every goddamn cartel out there to have our own shit.”

“That’s crazy,” Eliza says. But she doesn’t pull away. “So...crazy,” she slowly whispers. “I think it, too. It’s way too fucking much to hope for. But it is nice to talk about.”

Nice to talk about.

Fuck, I’m not daydreaming in my goddamn notebook and drawing names in hearts.

I put dicks in throats.

Wait. That sounded fucked up. You know what I mean.

I bleed out motherfuckers who do just what I’m thinking of doing.

But I want more than just some greedy little piece of the pie. I want the whole fucking game, with my queen at my side. I want to knock the fucking playing field as it stands completely off course.

I wanna change the goddamn world with the baddest bitch out there on my arm, on that throne with me.

Fuck, talk about unrealistic dreams.

I know I need to swallow it. Dangerous thoughts, for a woman who may have admitted to thinking similar thoughts, but that by no means said she was ready to put her whole goddamn life in peril for me.

Because it wouldn’t be a clean sweep. You don’t take out a cartel so easily.

Eliza didn’t say she was down for that.

But, fuck, it feels so good to think about it.

Eliza thinks so too. I see that wistful look in her eyes when she looks at me. “Telling motherfuckers what to do, having them afraid of us, having more than just a small crew running one lab that’s basically a goddamn pop up. We wouldn’t be the food truck of coke, we’d have the best fucking product out there and we’d take the world by storm.”

Um, yeah. She’s definitely enjoying daydreaming about it.

“I’d have someone just to transport the shoes I’d want for any given destination, I swear,” Eliza laughs.

But it is just that, dreaming.

And fucking God, I can’t help but dream with her. “I’d fuck you in all the finest hotels in the world. Private beaches where you’d sit naked, wearing nothing but my cum,” I say, watching Eliza’s eyes sparkle as I tell her that. “I would love to watch you crawl over to me on sand only we touch and just fly from paradise to paradise. Come back to knock a few skulls in, and then take off for the next adventure.”

Eliza laughs. “We’d be Bonnie and Clyde.” Eliza brings her mouth close to mine.

I look into her eyes, taste her breath and feel it’s warmth so close to me.

“Ours is a story with a neverending bodycount,” I tell her. My lips are so close to hers that when I talk they’re touching hers.

“But fuck it, I’d love our happily ever after. I’d love it,” Eliza says.

She’s trembling a little.

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