Page 44 of Loving Lies (Granton University 3)

deepest stage of sleep. She didn’t wake up.

Jonah was also dead asleep when she snuck into his hospital room twenty minutes later. Tess felt as if she’d been holding her breath since the moment she’d stolen Bailey’s keys. But the air rushed from her lungs now, in a strange kind of relief, as she stared at his peacefully dreaming body, a blanket draped over him all the way up to his chin.

Lifting the sheet, she eased into his bed, only to realize he was wearing nothing but the jogging pants he’d had on earlier when he’d tried to walk. His chest was bare and smooth, gleaming in the dim lights around the room. A four-inch patch of square gauze was taped to his lower torso on the right side.

She touched the area gently as she laid her head next to his, facing him.

He woke with a jerk, sucking in a startled breath.

“Sorry,” she whispered, touching this face. “I didn’t mean to wake you.” Or maybe she had. She was so messed up right now.

She moved her fingers over his beautiful features as he blinked her into focus.

“Tess?” he mumbled, his voice full of sleep and eyes heavy-lidded. “What’re you—” He shook his head as if he needed to clear it and glanced around. “What time is it?”

“A little after two.”

He squeezed his eyes shut and then drug them back open. “In the morning?”

She winced. “Yeah. I’m sorry, I should go.”

When she moved to roll off the bed, though, he curled onto his side and into her, so they could fit more fully together.

“No. Don’t go.” He slid his arm around her waist as if it was the most natural act in the world.

She froze, holding her breath again. “Okay.”

Jonah nuzzled his face into her. “What’re you doing here, though?”

“I couldn’t sleep,” she admitted and leaned forward to kiss his chin full of dark stubble. “I was sad. I needed my boyfriend to make me feel better again.”

Worry filled his tired eyes as he cupped her face. “What happened? Are you okay?”

She shook her head. “No, I’m not okay. I was completely shut out by this guy earlier today who was trying to walk. And it broke my heart because I couldn’t do anything to help him while he was going through the worst turmoil of his life. I felt so worthless and helpless. I even cried a little. It reminded me of when my mom was dying. I just stood by her bed, unable to even ease her pain.”

“Jesus.” He squeezed his eyes closed and buried his hand deep in her hair so he could shift their foreheads together. “Baby, I’m sorry. I’m so damn sorry. I know I was a dick. I just—”

She set her hand over his mouth and adamantly shook her head. “It’s okay. You don’t have anything to apologize for. You were completely within your right to—”

“No.” He grasped her hand to remove it from his mouth. “I was wrong. And I know it. I just couldn’t—” Gritting his teeth, he let out a harsh laugh. “I wanted to do it for you. I wanted to get right up and walk to show you I could, that I was capable and worthy and—”

“Jonah, you didn’t have to show me anything. I don’t need—”

“Well, I do need! I needed to do it for you. For my girlfriend. If I’m going to keep you, I needed to be strong and capable.”

Guilt and pain clogged her throat. She wondered what he’d do if he knew she wasn’t really his girlfriend. How could she ever tell him now? How could she tell him they weren’t really as close as he seemed to think they were, as close as she wanted them to be?

Squeezing her eyes shut, she rested her cheek against his heartbeat. He deserved the truth. But that wasn’t what she wanted to tell him. She wanted to tell him she was heartbroken for him because he hadn’t done what he’d hoped to do today. She wanted to encourage him and beg him not to give up just because he hadn’t succeeded his first try. There was so much she wanted to talk about with him, about what they’d both been through today.

But instead, she said, “I’m scared.”

He must’ve been expecting her to start up on the walking issue too because he pulled back slightly as if surprised by her admission. Then beautiful brown eyes filled with sympathy. He cupped her face with one hand.

“What’re you scared of?”

“Everything,” she admitted before gulping. “It feels like my entire life has…changed. I’ve been so coddled and sheltered from all the bad things in the world. My dad and brothers never let anything happen to me. Even my best friend goes out of her way to make sure I’m shielded. But this shooting has me shaken. Nothing—” she had to pause to take a breath “—I mean, nothing is as it used to be anymore. I feel like I’m right out there, exposed to everything, with no clue how to defend myself. I see danger everywhere I look, and I hate it. I hate this panicky, helpless feeling that every time I turn around, some big evil will—”

“Shh.” Stroking her cheek, he leaned forward to gently set his mouth against hers. “I know. I know exactly how you feel. When I was growing up—”

---