Page 39 of Believing Bailey (Granton University 2)

I was ugly?

I mean, I’d always known I’d never be a skin and bones Miss Universe, but I’d never considered myself flat-out ugly before.

Ugly felt so extreme.

But apparently, I was mouthy, opinionated, fat, pathetic, and ugly too boot.

Holy shit.

“Well, she’s always been an attention whore, so it’s really not that shocking if you think about it.” Girl Two was twining a piece of dark hair around her finger, and I suddenly wanted to leap forward and just grab it and pull…pull so hard it ripped the roots from her pretty little skinny-headed scalp.

This time, when Tess yanked on my arm, I let her drag me away. I stared sightlessly ahead as she towed me across campus. It didn’t occur to me that she wasn’t leading me to our next class together but rather out into the parking lot where my car was until she was digging into my book bag hanging limping from my shoulder for my keys.

Then she pushed me into the passenger seat and hurried around to the driver’s side herself. The car started, and she backed from the parking spot.

“I’m sorry,” she finally said, filling the silence so abruptly that I jumped. I looked across the interior of the car to find tears glittering in her eyes.

I shook my head. “What’re you sorry for?” And why the hell was she crying?

“I didn’t…” She paused to choke on her words, before wiping tears off her cheeks with her fingertips and continuing. “I didn’t stand up for you. I didn’t…I didn’t defend you to those stupid…those stupid bitches.”

My eyebrows arched. Tess never called anyone a bitch. She really was upset.

Still too numb by what I’d just heard to share her distress, I shrugged. “I would never expect you to.” That’s not who she was. Tess was a bleeding-heart pacifist who avoided confrontations and bringing any kind of attention to herself. Just because she hadn’t made a spectacle on my behalf just now didn’t mean I thought she loved me any less. The only thing I was assured of at the moment was that Tess still loved me.

With a sniff, she glanced at me and wiped her face again. “But you would’ve stood up for me. You would’ve said something to them and put them in their place for hurting me. You would’ve—”

“That’s just because I’m an attention whore,” I cut in bitterly before turning my gaze sharply to stare out the side window. “All us crazy pathetic, mouthy, opinioned fat cows are, you know.”

“Arg.” Tess gritted her teeth as she turned a corner before hissing a stream of curse words. My eyebrows lifted, kind of impressed by her litany. It was rare—beyond rare—when Tess cussed, but she was dropping f-bombs like a pro right now. Finally, she glanced at me, her eyes shot through with anger as she pulled onto our street. “You are none of those things, Bailey, do you hear me? Those vile slugs don’t know you. They don’t—”

“You don’t have to defend me to me, Tess. I know I’m not perfect.”

“Well, I know you’re not perfect too,” Tess snapped as she pulled to a stop at the curb in front of our house and turned to face me fully. “I know you better than anyone. You’re brash and impetuous with no filter whatsoever. Whatever you’re thinking spills from your mouth, and you stick your nose where it doesn’t belong more often than not. You can drive me crazy with your smart-alecky wisecracks and snap judgements. And you—”

“Gee, you’re making me feel like a paragon of perfection right now, bestie,” I muttered, glancing away and blinking rapidly because listening to her list my faults stung a million times worse than knowing those two jerks from campus thought I was an ugly fat cow.

But Tess gripped my arm with force yet compassion, making me glance at her. Her smile was watery but genuine when she said, “But you’re the most loyal friend a person could ever have. You protect those in your tribe whole-heartedly. You’d sacrifice your own happiness to make sure one of your people was content. And you’ve been known to make me laugh until I’ve shot milk from my nose.”

I cracked a smile at that one and nudged my elbow at her. “And it was strawberry milk at that.”

Tess groaned and dabbed gingerly at her nose, even though that particular event had happened back when we’d been eight. “Yeah, I think the strawberry aspect made it sting more.”

My shoulders loosened and I couldn’t help but drop some of the depression that had been gripping me. How did Tess always make my heart happy just by being herself? I guess that was what made her a true friend. Merely being in her company and having her attention eased my soul.

But thinking of the word attention made me remember the term attention whore those girls had called me. Had I been so lonely lately, upset with all Tess’s time with Jonah, because I really was a dirty, hog of an attention whore? I glanced at her, feeling like a shitty awful friend for wanting more of her lately. I should’ve been truly, deep-in-my-heart happy for her because she had more people to love her, not jealous. Ugh, I really was the worst.

Mood plummeting once again, I smiled sadly and reached out to pat her arm. “Thank you for being with me today. I don’t know how I would’ve gotten through that scene without you there.”

Tess’s eyes bugged as she stared at my hand until I felt the need to pull away.

Okay, so maybe I wasn’t a touchy-feely person. I didn’t hug or comfort or receive affection or any of that emotional shit. It probably was really strange that I reached for her.

Maybe I was losing my mind.

“I think I’m going to go do some homework in my room,” I said, needing a break from life. “Thank Jonah for letting me hog you so much today.”

“Bailey,” Tess said, looking shocked by my words. “You didn’t hog me. Hey! Don’t leave. Seriously, sweetie, what is going on with you? Something is wrong. And I know it’s not just those stupid girls from school. You didn’t even let Chrissy Jackson and her band of shrews get to you sophomore year when they decided to bully you.”

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