Page 93 of Monster Among the Roses (Fairy Tale Quartet 1)

I clenched my teeth and spiked my fingers into my hair. My own mother had unknowingly backed Gloria’s lie. The misery of it took my breath.

“They’re…they’re friends,” was all I could think to say before I shook my head, lost and defeated. “Mom is always…” Realizing I’d just spoken of her in the present tense, I paused, waited for the spear of pain to pass, and then said, “She was always saying shit like that, trying to force the two of us together, but nothing—and I mean, nothing—ever came of it. I am not and have never been with Gloria in any way.”

Isobel nodded, believing me, before she buried her face into her hands and wept. “I’m sorry.”

Rage and pain swamped me. I should’ve been meaner to Gloria years ago and forced her out of my life for good. I should’ve…I don’t know. But it felt as if I could’ve stopped this from happening. If only I’d done little things here and there differently, I could’ve prevented this.

Wiping at her cheeks, Isobel drew in a breath and met my gaze, her devastation clear and brutally exposed. “I…I’m so sorry, Shaw. I should’ve talked to you about it, I know that. But I just couldn’t. We’d only known each other a couple months. It was still so fresh and new and…and there wasn’t any solid proof behind anything you’d ever said to me. All I had was your word to go on whether your feelings were true or not. You always seemed to back away whenever we started to talk about a future between the two of us. And after the hospital visit, I felt like a fool, a stupid, idiotic fool. I assumed I’d just been so desperate and lonely that I’d been willing to believe the first guy who acted interested. It suddenly seemed crazy that you might’ve actually loved me back. I never did anything to deserve someone who seemed as perfect as you were.”

“Love isn’t about deserving,” I hissed, shaking my head. “Because who really deserves love? We’re all miserable, imperfect idiots who probably need swift kicks in the ass more than anything. No, love is about connection and feelings, and I had that with you. I had all that with you. I never had it with anyone else.”

Isobel sent me a sad, watery smile. “I had the same connection and feelings for you.”

I didn’t know what to say to that, what to do about any of this.

I wanted to forgive her and pull her into my arms to ease some of the grief plaguing me, yet I couldn’t.

I wanted to hate her for what I’d been through the last few days, and yet I couldn’t do that either.

Behind me, more laughter trickled from my apartment. Becky loudly started to recount a memory of a time she’d gotten into trouble with Mom. It was more than I could take. I ran my hands through my hair before gripping it with both hands.

“Shaw?” Isobel’s wobbly voice haunted me. She reached out her hand.

I took a step away, and she quickly withdrew her fingers.

I swear, watching the agony cross her features after my rejection hurt me as much as it hurt her.

Closing my eyes, I gritted out, “I just need some time. I can’t deal with everything all at once.”

“Of course,” she rushed out. “Yes, of course.”

When I opened my eyes, she’d whirled away and was dashing down the stairs.

An image of my mother crumpled and broken at the bottom of those very steps seized me, and instinctively I started after her, worried about her tripping in her haste. Falling. Dying. But Ezra set a hand on my chest.

If he’d been forceful or angry, I would’ve fought past him. I would’ve punched him in the eye and caught up with his sister before she left the building. But the guy only looked sad and sympathetic.

“I think you’re right about the time thing. Why don’t you give it a day?” he suggested. “Take care of everything with your mom, deal with…” He waved a hand toward the opened door of my apartment where my siblings were still inside, spilling out memories. “Izzy needs a day too, to let the reality of what she did soak in. Then go see her.”

I heard the door at the bottom of the stairs open and bang shut, letting me know she had made it off the steps safely, so I nodded and let her go.

chapter

TWENTY-NINE

One day actually spanned into two. My five siblings cleaned out pretty much everything that once belonged to Mom. The only things left were her walker, some clothes no one would ever want, and a bu

nch of broken bakery remains. I did find a chipped cup she used to love to drink from, so I kept that, but everything else, I boxed up and hauled down to the dumpster.

Every time I passed the base of the stairwell where I’d found her, my throat would go dry and my chest would twist with pain. I really needed to move out of this hellhole.

I had no idea what I was going to do with the rest of my life. I hadn’t received any word that Henry had rescinded any of the loans or bills he’d paid off for my mom, but I hadn’t seen any proof of the opposite either. If I ended up owing him, at least I was free to find a job somewhere that actually paid me so I could attempt to pay him back. I wasn’t tied to taking care of Mom anymore, so I was free to do anything now, though that thought made me feel even crappier. Any hardship would’ve been worth keeping her alive longer.

Besides, without her, I had no purpose. I honestly felt lost, like a wadded-up piece of newspaper drifting in the breeze. It was only a matter of time before someone caught me and threw me into the trash where I belonged.

On Saturday, I fully planned to sit on the couch and drown myself in my misery for the entire day, but I ended up with two visitors. I wasn’t particularly happy to see either, but they both surprised me.

Gloria showed up first, just before noon.

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