Page 83 of Fade (Fighting Fate)

Chaos followed. Panicked and angry Arabic rang out above the crackle of explosions and gunfire, trailed by the telling roar of an RPG detonating. And then another.

Nelson swore quietly under his breath, the sound of the detonations a lot closer to our location than any of us would’ve liked.

I wasn’t sure if their intention was to attempt to shoot the jet down or something else, but when the warheads exploded somewhere on the western bank, and the voices came louder and more aggressive than before, I made the assumption they’d failed whatever it was they were hoping to achieve.

Following Sergeant Cooper’s signal, we surged forward, knowing at this point the chance of conflict was more or less inevitable. With each building we rounded, we did it expecting to come face-to-face with the enemy.

Sudden gunfire from the Kurds at the front told me this was it. Taking cover behind a crumbling wall, I positioned myself at a gap and took aim.

Firing on another human being was a possibility I knew I was likely to encounter the second I’d arrived in Syria. It was something I tried not to think about too much, but occasionally, I’d wondered how I’d feel in the very moment leading up to the first time I was placed in that situation. In the back of my mind, I knew rationality wouldn’t even play a part, but it was something I thought should be considered when all was calm and quiet.

Standing there, rifle aimed and ready, my only thoughts were to protect my family. The one here with me now, and the one waiting for me back home. Other than that, it was the families we were here to rescue. That was it. There were no other thoughts. Anything that was a threat to those things, I would do whatever I could to stop.

I saw the moment the enemy fighters spotted the Kurds. Nelson did too. The instant the first one raised his weapon, Nelson fired. That was all I needed. There were only three of them, but we had them down in less than ten seconds.

Hurrying forward, we reached the target building. I didn’t need an interpreter to know what the Kurds were saying. More fighters would come. We needed to hurry.

McAdams, Nelson, Gardner, and I took position outside, while the rest burst their way inside. Shots erupted, and the screams of women pierced the air.

Time ticked on. Nervous energy pumped harder and faster inside me, amplified by the sounds of approaching voices in the distance. A few minutes later, the Kurds reappeared, followed closely by three cowering women and six children, the urgency in the rebels’ voices revealing just how borderline the success of this mission was.

Sergeant Cooper and Johns appeared at the rear, the intensity etched on the sergeant’s face a clear indicator we needed to get the fuck out.

“Move it!” he barked, frantically swiping his hand, ushering us to follow the Kurds. “Now!”

Falling in behind McAdams and Nelson, we edged around the adjoining building, Gardner, Johns, and Sergeant Cooper covering the team from the rear as we moved.

The only warning we got that the enemy had finally reached us was a round of machine-gun fire that ricocheted off the wall a foot from Nelson’s head.

This was it.

Chapter 43

Amy

Deployed time: 10 weeks

Gently, I ran my thumb over the soft, worn fabric of Daniel’s favorite shirt. Bringing it to my chest, I clutched it harder, trying to suppress the ache that was starting to catch in my heart.

Even though I knew it was unwise to count the days, I just couldn’t seem to stop myself from doing it. It had now been six weeks since I’d spoken to my own husband. Logic was there somewhere. I knew before he’d even left it was more than likely going to be this way.

The lack of communication was definitely no surprise. Neither was the misery I felt not being able to talk to him. What I hadn’t been prepared for was just how much I needed to hear something—anything—just to know he was okay.

Standing in his room, I took a moment to just breathe in the memory of him. Sadness pierced my heart with the realization that the scent of him was slowly fading. It set a kind of panicked undercurrent through my veins.

I wondered where he was right in this moment. Did he feel safe? Was he clean and well fed? Strangely, it mattered.

With a sigh, I forced myself to acknowledge the fact that I would never know these things. Not until I heard from him again.

Bringing his shirt to my face, I held it there. Breathing. Praying. Hoping. I needed him to come home to me. To us. I wanted that final piece of the family puzzle. It had taken me a while to see it, but somehow, Daniel had managed to show me. I was worthy of love. And not just some watered-down version of it. I was worthy of the best kind. The kind fairy tales were made of.

The sound of a door closing downstairs, followed by keys being deposited on a table straight after, told me I’d lingered too long. I wasn’t sure why, but the thought of facing Daniel’s family caused a certain kind of dread to sink into my stomach. It had been enough to make me avoid seeing them for the last month.

I’d tried telling myself it was because seeing Ryan would be too much like seeing Daniel, but deep down, I knew that wasn’t it. I’d been around the both of them long enough now to differentiate. To me, they now looked nothing alike.

Swallowing, I carefully placed Daniel’s shirt back on his bed and pulled my cardigan tighter around my body. Nerves churned low in my stomach. The heavy footsteps on the stairs told me it was Ryan, and I wasn’t sure I was prepared to face him just yet.

Susan’s voice of reason echoed in the back of my mind. She’d been trying to get me to tell Ryan about the baby since I passed the first trimester milestone two weeks ago. I knew he deserved to be told, but the thought of actually doing it terrified me for some reason.

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