Page 1 of Fade (Fighting Fate)

Chapter 1

Amy

With one last appraising look at my reflection, I straightened my shoulders and turned for the door. I was sure my mother couldn’t possibly find fault with my appearance this time. I’d been meticulous, choosing what I was wearing carefully.

As I slowly navigated my way down the stairs, I took a deep breath, making sure I had the mandatory pleasant expression on my face.

Mom lowered the papers she was reading as I walked into the room, her gaze scanning me from head to toe. I tensed the second I saw her eyes narrow with scrutiny. After nineteen years, you would think I’d be used to it. Apparently not.

“Honestly, Amy,” she said, her eyes rolling with exasperation. “Are you really going to wear that?”

I looked down at the pair of designer jeans and pale pink silk blouse I was wearing and blinked. I should’ve known better.

“Yes?” I said, now uncertain.

She huffed and shook her head a little. “If you don’t start making more of an effort, that boyfriend of yours will start looking elsewhere.”

Looking down at my six-hundred-dollar pair of kitten heels, I pressed my lips together, not willing to confess I thought my boyfriend was already looking elsewhere.

Meeting her gaze again, I gave her a reassuring smile and fluffed my hair like she’d taught me. “It’ll be fine. I better be going or I’ll be late.”

She gave me a curt nod and redirected her attention back to her papers. I guess I was dismissed.

Climbing into my brand-new Porsche 911 convertible—a horribly ostentatious graduation gift from my parents last year—I drove toward Ryan’s house.

Once on the road, I tried to distract myself from how distant Ryan had seemed with me lately. And the way his gaze seemed to be roaming when other girls were around. And the disappointment I saw every time I wouldn’t let him go past second base.

Sighing, I turned the music up louder and tried to sing along to the song I barely knew.

My stomach fluttered, making me feel sick. I tried to pretend I had no idea why, but I knew it had everything to do with the knowing look he’d given me when he specifically told me his mother was out of town for the night.

Pulling into his drive, I climbed from the car and locked it, throwing my keys into my bag as I walked to the front door.

I’d hoped to take some time to compose myself and make some sort of plan before I knocked, but before I’d even taken a breath, the door swung open, and I was suddenly faced with a grinning Ryan.

My heart stuttered. That smile was always my undoing.

“Hey, you,” he said, reaching for me and pulling me hard against him.

“Hi,” I murmured, wrapping my arms around his neck.

Closing my eyes, I allowed myself to feel. I actually loved the way he felt against me. I loved the warmth, the feeling of being close to someone, feeling wanted . . .

His hands moved over my body, sliding over my ribs until his thumbs were brushing the undersides of my breasts. It felt nice. It did. It was just that I knew he wouldn’t want to stop there. I hated the anxiety that rushed over me at the thought. I wanted to be able to enjoy his attention, let myself relax under his touch, but the worry over how he was going to react when I said no made my stomach clench.

I heard the door close behind me as his lips claimed mine. He kissed me slowly, softly, his tongue moving gently over my lower lip, making the unease inside me fade a little. I exhaled and melted against him a little more.

Ryan chuckled, his warm breath making my lips tingle. Smiling, I opened my eyes. I loved this side of him. This was the Ryan I fell for when we’d first gotten together four months ago.

Taking my hand, he gave me another little kiss before smiling down at me.

“Come on,” he said, pulling me toward the stairs. “I’ve got a surprise for you.”

The unease quickly crept back in. I’d never been up to his room before. It was something I’d always tried to get out of, but the way he was smiling at me made me want to please him.

I allowed him to lead me up the stairs, and he paused at the first door to give me another gentle kiss before opening it and guiding me inside.

I gasped as I took in the room. There had to have been at least two dozen candles placed around the room, casting the room into a soft, yellow glow, and in the middle of the far wall was a queen-sized bed, sprinkled with red and pink rose petals.

Blinking, I took it all in while Ryan’s fingers brushed soft, teasing circles on my hand.

“Wow . . .”

I didn’t know what else to say. It was truly beautiful.

Pulling me into him, Ryan kissed me slow and deep, a passionate kiss that made my insides flutter.

I heard the door close and felt him moving me across the room.

“You are so sexy, Amy,” he murmured against my lips. “You have no idea how much.”

He pulled me even harder against him, and I suddenly found myself being laid out on the bed with Ryan on top of me. Panic sprang up inside me. I couldn’t do this. I wasn’t ready.

A voice inside my head growled, telling me to look around. He’d gone to so much trouble to show me how much he wanted me. We’d been together for four months, for crying out loud. I should be ready for this.

Forcing myself to relax, I let him kiss me until my mind was practically obliterated. I concentrated on the feel of his hands, the way it made my skin tingle. That was good, right?

My blouse slowly crept upwards, exposing the white, lacy bra I’d put on for this exact purpose. Ryan moaned. The sound actually gave me a little thrill. Okay, that was good. Thrill was good.

The sensation of my bra loosening had my little celebration coming to an abrupt halt. Shit.

No. This was okay. I could do this.

I felt my bra peel away from the clasp between my boobs, my mind suddenly very aware of their nakedness.

Of course, they’d been naked for Ryan before. Once. But that one time hadn’t ended well, and as I lay there this time, I had the feeling it wasn’t going to end much better tonight.

No. I couldn’t think like that. I had to give this a chance. Give Ryan a chance.

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