Page 17 of Hush (Fighting Fate)

“Take off your jacket and let your hair out,” I said in a low voice.

Fear spiked in her eyes.

I waited, not moving, not speaking. Just letting her make the choice. Her gaze stayed locked on mine. I could see her mind ticking over, trying to understand my demand.

After a long minute of watching each other, she carefully slipped the jacket from her shoulders and let it fall to the floor.

I forced myself to keep my gaze locked on hers. I knew what she was wearing underneath that jacket, and if I let myself look her over again right then, she would see the desire in my eyes, and I would lose her trust instantly.

It was another long minute before she unclipped her hair. I held my breath as it tumbled over her shoulders and down her back in mass of sexy as fuck curls. I seriously thought I was going to choke. Damn she was beautiful.

I couldn’t stop myself then. I had to see that dress again. My gaze moved down, slowly taking her in. It was short and tight, and showed off every curve on her body. If the other guys had seen her wearing this, I knew I would’ve had a fight on my hands.

Wrestling my eyes back to hers, I gave her a pleading look. Was she trying to get herself into trouble?! I didn’t know how I was supposed to protect someone who didn’t know the first thing about self-preservation.

“Why would you wear that?” I asked, my voice a little strangled.

She seemed to blanch at my question, but then her expression turned apologetic and worried. “I…I was on my way to a party…I didn’t know I had to come here…” Her voice was all but a frightened whisper.

Oh hell. I could see that now. What she was wearing would be quite normal for a teenage party. If anything, it was probably covering more than most. I just wanted her to understand that these guys weren’t like the guys she went to school with. They wouldn’t try to sweet talk her so she’d hopefully say yes. They would take whatever they wanted, without a care to her at all. I needed her to understand that.

As I took in her panicked face, I realized she probably did. Her confusion towards my reaction was clear. She didn’t understand why I was worried about her appearance. In her eyes I was just like the other guys downstairs. I was a low life drug dealer who took advantage of women. She knew I should be ogling her – trying to rip that sexy as hell dress off her and take her with or without her consent. She was calling me out in my own game. Eighteen months of undercover work was coming unraveled right before my eyes, and I couldn’t do a damn thing about it.

I ran my hand over my head again before deciding I needed another drink. Turning away from her innocence, I tipped the bottle quickly, spilling a little in my hurry.

It didn’t work. I just couldn’t seem to collect myself. This girl was doing something to me. I felt like it had been so long since I’d felt something real, and that now I did, I couldn’t switch it off. It was frightening and exhilarating at the same time.

I half-filled my glass again and turned back to her. She didn’t look scared. She looked nervous. I hated that I was the one making her feel that way. I wanted her to relax.

“Drink?” I asked, holding the glass out suggestively.

She didn’t say anything, she just shook her head. I inhaled deeply then threw the bourbon down in another long gulp. I wanted her to trust me.

So fucking much.

Without taking my eyes off her, I placed the empty glass back on the table and slowly made my way towards her.

I wasn’t sure what I was going to do. I wanted to touch her – touch that long silky looking hair. I wanted to hold her. And more than anything, I wanted her to hold me. I wanted to know that I hadn’t sacrificed the best years of my life for nothing.

Her gaze

held me captive. It lured me in. Her breath became shallow, quicker.

I stopped within reaching distance of her. Why did she have to be dragged into this world? I didn’t know what would happen to me if anything happened to her, but I knew it wouldn’t be good. I knew it would destroy something inside me.

“You’re so beautiful,” I whispered. The pain in my voice confused me.

I heard her suck in a sharp breath at my words. Her eyes flickered with bewilderment. I watched her arms slip from their defensive position, her body language becoming receptive. I could see the battle raging deep inside her eyes. Her attraction locked head to head with her common sense.

Unfortunately, her common sense won out, and she took a tiny step back, away from the contradiction that was me.

God damn it! I really needed to get a grip.

Breaking her gaze, I moved over to the armchair and sat down. I needed a better plan than this. Think, damn it. Think! I ran my hands over my shaved hair, leaving them cupping the back of my neck with my elbows on my knees.

I heard her moving further away from me, probably back to the wall she’d sheltered against the last time she’d been here, but I didn’t look up. I honestly didn’t know what to do. All I knew was that in half an hour’s time, I’d have to make her look like she’d just spent an hour in my bed. I hated myself already.

Chapter 15

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