Page 105 of Saving Her

Part of me was relieved, while part of me was even more hurt than before. I wasn’t sure what I had expected of him, but now that I had found out, I wasn’t sure if I should use this as fuel for another reason I should get away from him as quick as possible or respect him for doing as I had asked of him.

After all, he had come after me. I was the one who told him not to and I had meant it…I think.

Dragging myself out of the dredges of my own mind, I shook my head and started down the mountain again.

By now, my ankle was starting to hurt, though it wasn’t in horrible pain. It was more of a sharp stab that dulled as soon as the weight was lifted off it.

I grumbled with aggravation as I tried to force myself to press on. I told myself that it should only take a few hours to reach the ranger’s station and if I needed to,

I could rest.

I realized there was danger all around, but I had intended on camping on the mountain anyway. Now, it would simply be a better indication of my skills. If I survived I did good, if I died, I told myself it wouldn’t matter anyway.

I tried to laugh at my joke, trying to keep my darker thoughts on the more lighthearted side, but it was far too close to home to be funny.

I wanted to believe that everything was going to be alright, but logic told me that the odds were largely against me.

There were plenty of able-bodied people who went into the mountains and never returned; I wasn’t sure how my bum leg and I were supposed to fair. One wrong step would send me hurtling to my doom.

I continued anyway and walked for what seemed like an eternity but was probably close to a few hours.

By this time, my ankle was on fire and my head was starting to pound. I didn’t have any water and I was starting to get extremely hungry.

Through my fit of anger, I hadn’t thought this out too well and it was about now that I was coming to this realization.

I stopped and sat on a log, trying to gather my thoughts and strength for the journey ahead.

Unfortunately, when I looked up in the sky, I was horrified to find that it was getting dark. I decided that my newfound fear had a lot to do with everything that had happened to me recently, but regardless of the reason, I was terrified of being alone.

I thought that perhaps, I had successfully cut off my nose to spite my face. As aggravating as being with Johnathan was, it was nowhere as terrible as being lost in the wilderness with no food, water, or foreseeable plan shelter.

At this moment, I realized that I thought I would be at the ranger’s station by dark. Being that I was so angry with Johnathan, I had convinced myself that his estimation of it being a day’s journey from the cabin was completely wrong.

Great! I thought, my wishful thinking is going to be what gets me killed.

I rolled my eyes, shaking the negative thought out of my head and tried to focus on a more positive use of my time.

Okay, it’s getting dark, so I need shelter… I thought, looking around, hoping to spot an unoccupied cave or otherwise useful natural structure etched into the mountain, since I didn’t have a tent and I was incapable of creating my own shelter in my condition.

Without my ankle, or the impending darkness, I probably would’ve had a shot, but with both components against me, I wasn’t that stubborn.

Sure, but you had to be that stubborn when you left the cabin! I chastised myself, growing even angrier and more upset when I didn’t see any shelter-like structure.

Damn… I thought, feeling a nervous knot forming in my stomach. I didn’t like the idea of being out here all by myself. I realized then that anything could happen to me and no one would even know.

Another thought also plagued me; my last known whereabouts were with Johnathan.

What if he is blamed for doing something to me? I knew it wouldn’t be hard for the tour guide to lie about what happened up on the mountain. Johnathan could get blamed for everything.

Johnathan’s haunting words played back in my head: “You’re up here, all alone, with only me and the dog, so it’s all well and good, but the moment you get back to your perfect suburbia, it isn’t the fucking guide that tried to rape you, it’s the goddamn mountain man that used you and betrayed you.”

As angry as I was at him, I certainly couldn’t let something like that happen to him. So, I decided that, for both my sake and Johnathan’s, I needed to keep going if I was ever going to make it to the ranger’s station.

So, I picked myself up and continued in the direction down the mountain, still holding out a sliver of hope that the station was closer than even I thought it was now.

Suddenly, though, I stopped, and my heart leapt with excitement. In the distance, a little way behind me, I could’ve sworn I heard Jake barking. I stopped to listen, but I didn’t hear it again.

I felt my heart drop as I dismissed the thought of being rescued, pressing forward, while I allowed my pride to get the better of me.

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