Page 8 of Fragile Kiss (Fragile 2)
Finally, she opened her eyes and noticed him observing her.
“You’re so beautiful,” he said.
Her heart stopped; she couldn’t help it. “I was only stretching after quite a rigorous workout,” she said, trying to make light of his comment. It didn’t faze him.
For a little longer than she anticipated he looked her up and down, his eyes lingering on her waist and neck. At last he shifted and sat up. “I’m starving. Let’s get some food.”
“Where do you want to go?” The thought of going out someplace sank her mood. It was so comfy in the house, lounging in her sweatpants and draping her legs over his. Why did they have to go out?
As if he had read her mind, he said, “I don’t really want to go anywhere. Let’s order in.”
Yes! she thought. Cayden reached for his phone and leaned back on the pillow, scrolling and tapping for a few minutes until it was done. “Half an hour,” he said triumphantly, tossing his phone down to the foot of the bed.
“What did you get?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” he smirked. “I need a shower. Bad.”
She frowned. “Why?”
“Are you implying,” he flopped onto his stomach and inched up close to her face, “that you like the way I smell right now?”
Lillian sheepishly smiled.
“That’s gross, Lil.”
“How?”
“The
real question is, how can you possibly like this smell?”
“Because it smells like you and everything you love.” She wondered if she should’ve thought that instead of saying it out loud.
Cayden, to her delight, looked pleased. “Tell me, O Wise One, everything I love.”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” she retorted, and stood. “Go take a shower, silly clean freak. I’ll be busying myself here.”
He slid off the bed, planted a firm kiss on her cheek, and disappeared into the bathroom. Within a minute she heard the shower running full blast, and saw steam billowing from the gap underneath the door.
With a sigh, she got up and slipped on a white t-shirt he had folded on his dresser. She walked into the kitchen to pour a glass of water. What am I doing? she asked whatever spirits would listen. I’ve never had such a disconnect between my head and my heart until this. I don’t know who to listen to.
She wondered what Amelia would say. The years she and Amelia had lived together were the best years of her life so far. Amelia, in all her never-ending, high-speed energy seemed to always have wisdom for emotional predicaments Lillian seemed to get herself into. Even though she was gone, Lillian still tried to channel her inner Amelia when she needed insight about something.
Right now, though, her inner Amelia wasn’t showing up, and she had no answers about the best course of action.
Don’t think about it yet, Lillian. Not yet. She knew she didn’t have much time left before Cayden went back to Los Angeles, although she didn’t know the exact amount of time until he left. She didn’t want to know. For once, for one of the only times she could remember besides when she was still together with Cayden, she wanted to enjoy the moment and not ruin it by overthinking the details or worrying about the future.
Amelia had always said she needed to be with someone who was very grounded. Rooted in themselves and the world around them. Someone who could pull Lillian back down to earth when she started to be pulled away into the tornado of her own mind.
Cayden had been that person. And now he was gone. Well, technically he was about to go. But her time with him, as a partner, had gone.
She walked out onto Cayden’s little back porch and focused on the very last sliver of sun sinking behind the shedding trees. As it lowered, and the sky darkened, so did the elation of earlier from being with him. I have to remind myself why I’m doing this, she thought. If she had been speaking out loud it would have been in her no-nonsense voice. I’m not what’s best for him. He needs someone more suited to who he is and what he loves to do. Someone healthier and stronger and more beautiful.
Are you saying you’re not beautiful? Amelia’s voice popped up in her head, and Lillian breathed relief.
No, she replied, I’m not saying I’m not beautiful. I’m just saying that I’m not at all the type of people that Cayden usually surrounds himself with. I’m pretty much the opposite of all that.
Who’s to say that the opposite isn’t good for him?
