Page 11 of Fragile Kiss (Fragile 2)
“Neither do I!”
“I think we’re amazing together. I love taking care of you. I love doing your yard for you. I love that you help me organize my house, or whatever. Being with you makes me happy. That’s all I want in life: to be with someone who makes me happy.” He frowned, the shadow cast over half his face making his words sound even darker. “I guess it’s just another disappointment to add to my list.”
He stepped back, and the tears flowed from her eyes. “I hate hurting you.”
“Yeah. Well, maybe you should’ve thought about that before you decided to break up with me through a text message.” He seemed miles away now even though he was just beside his car, opening the door. Anxiety came over every nerve in Lillian’s body as she watched him put a foot inside the car. “I’m going to be late. ‘Bye, Lil.”
He backed up and drove away. She stood there, trying to look defiant and strong, until he was long gone. Then her legs fell out from under her and she crumpled to the ground, leaning against the railing of his front steps. The night air was chilly, and she shivered, but the tears were hot. Each one seemed to burn a cavern in her cheeks as it ran down and dripped off her jaw.
She didn’t know how long she stayed there. She didn’t care. Finally, when the tears became fewer and fewer, she locked his house with the key she had put under his backdoor mat and dragged herself back to her house.
Chapter 03
It was a Monday that lived up to the standard of Mondays.
It felt like she’d just fallen asleep by the time her alarm went off. Normally when she woke, she had to squint her eyes when she drew back the curtains because the sun was so bright. Today, however, there was no sun and no trace of light coming from outside. Confused, she opened her blinds and looked out to see a day as dark as evening. Rain streamed down from the gloomy heavens.
It matched her mood.
Lillian sighed and slouched. All her energy had gone. Her eyes felt dry and puffy, and her body was weaker than she remembered it being in a long time. All her efforts to keep her emotions together and be firm in this breakup had washed down the drain.
She drifted through her morning routine with almost no clue of what she was doing. She’d turned into a robot of some sort, not really living but rather existing. More like a zombie—without eating the brains, of course.
Feed the cats.
Eat breakfast.
Take a shower.
Dry hair.
Text Claire to confirm our appointment.
It was only when she realized her first appointment of the morning was with Claire, the client who was adorably nice but a lot to handle in more than small doses, she couldn’t help but let out a frustrated yell and beat her hands on the bed like a child. “This can’t be happening! Everything’s falling to shit!”
It felt good to yell, as if the burden was being relieved for a little while. But when she quieted she heard the stillness in the rest of the house, and the sense of being alone hit her like a ton of bricks.
Now’s not the time to let your feelings get the best of you, Lillian, she told herself, doing a few jumping jacks before going into the bathroom for her shower. You have work to do. You’re an independent woman. You run a successful business. You’ve made your life great.
Despite all these affirmations she kept repeating to herself, she had a hard time telling the difference between the shower stream and her tears.
She checked the time as soon as she got out. Good, I’m not late. That would have really made this a pathetic morning. For the first time since she woke, she dared to peer into the mirror. She looked better than she felt, but that wasn’t saying much.
“Where are my eye drops?” she asked her cats, running through the house in search of the tiny bottle. The cats followed her with their eyes as she ran back and forth, opening all the drawers within reach even though she knew the eye drops weren’t in any of them. It wasn’t even eight-thirty in the morning and already she was dangerously close to her emotional capacity for the day.
She let out another yell that sounded more like a loud whimper, and flopped onto the bed. “You have got to calm down, Lillian!” She rubbed her eyes, trying to center herself. “Claire, in all her sweet, overbearing, nonstop-talking glory, needs you to be there to look at her binder chock-full of ideas for her home that she’ll probably just forget tomorrow.”
Even after working with Claire for over a year, Lillian couldn’t decide whether she loved the woman or couldn’t stand being around her. Probably a mix of both. But even so, getting the focus off herself, knowing that she needed to channel the little strength she had inside her today because someone else needed her, was enough to motivate her to roll off the bed and get to work.
Every step she took felt like she was walking through a bog. She’d eaten breakfast, gotten enough nutrients for the morning, taken her shower, and done her makeup just like she always did on a Monday morning before meeting clients. Usually not getting enough sleep wasn’t this harsh on her.
You had a really freaking emotional day yesterday. Take it easy. Eat the snacks Claire gives you. She knows your trigger foods better than you, probably. There will be no getting sick today. No flare-ups allowed.
Perhaps today Claire was the one she needed to see most. Perhaps Lillian needed that kind of overactive energy to bring her back to reality and move on from the rough argument with Cayden.
How did it end up going so badly? she cried silently in the car. The swishing back and forth of her windshield wipers was hypnotic, and only enticed her to fall asleep while driving. A thousand ideas of how she could have better handled the situation swirled through her mind. She heard her own voice being more rational and practical and considering him before herself when, in fact, she’d done the opposite last night.
She knew she’d handled it badly. Not that he’d handled it great either, not even discussing her worries to bring the fight to a close. He’d just climbed into his car and left for the airport. What does he even do with his car all that time, anyway? Does he pay for parking for a month? A nasty grimace smeared across her face, and she glared at the road in front of her. I’m sure Janine pays for all his expenses. She flew him out there in the first place. The slightest thought of Janine turned her heart black.
