Page 4 of Fragile Kiss (Fragile 2)
“You’re not a fling to me either, Lil. So, I don’t see why we can’t work out.”
This is ridiculous. She chuckled ironically. “You’re too selfish to see why we can’t. You want what you want, and—”
“Exactly. I want what I want, and I do whatever it takes to get it.” He stared at her even more intently than the cats did at supper time, and she couldn’t look away.
“Please, Cayden.” She felt her throat start to tickle with tears. “Please stop talking about this. I can’t see you again. I can’t handle it.”
It took him a long time to say anything back. “You’re serious about this?”
She nodded.
“You really think that you’re not good for me?” In a second he was right in front of her. “Don’t I know what’s good for me better than anyone else?”
Lillian remained quiet.
“Is it something else? Did I make you unhappy?”
“No,” she whispered. “Not at all.”
“It’s not Andrew, is it?”
Lillian had never expected him to ask her that. The thought of being with her former roommate Amelia’s brother, the guy who was the closest thing to a brother she’d ever had, put a sour taste in her mouth. “Absolutely not.”
“You’re sure?”
“Of course, I’m sure.”
“I had to ask. He was here before I left. It was the first time you’ve seen each other since Amelia’s death, and I know you two are close...”
“I’m not with Andrew, Cayden! Nor am I interested in him. I never have been and never will be.” Every word she spoke she tried to drill into his mind. “Is that clear enough for you?”
“I don’t know. I don’t get why you want to break up.”
His eyes lit up, and she had to clarify herself. “It’s not you. It’s me. You need to go, Cayden. I’m so sorry you flew here just to argue with your ex-girlfriend.” He opened his mouth to speak, but she interrupted. “I put your spare key under the mat by your back door. Everything inside is organized and tidied up. I did it a couple of weeks ago.” Lillian turned her eyes to the floor and
struggled to shut off her whirlwind thoughts. Cayden was standing so close. Their shoes were almost touching. She smelled his musky scent even through the smell of airplane travel, and it made her knees weak. “Please, go,” she whispered, rubbing the wetness out of her eyes.
He swayed forward, and she felt her heart leap, but he didn’t touch her. Awkward and heartbroken, they lingered only inches apart before Cayden finally, ever so slowly, walked away.
Chapter 02
They didn’t speak the next day. Or for most of the next. Lillian hesitated even looking out the window and avoided the mailbox. The paradox of emotions—wanting to see him and, even more than that, rip him apart in the bedroom at the same time she never wanted to remember anything about him—only caused more turmoil.
So, avoiding him for the entire weekend as much as possible was, of course, the only option. And she didn’t want him to get any taste of her either. It had taken her a while to admit to herself that he truly didn’t want to break up. Someone who doesn’t care wouldn’t protest so much, right? It sounded right, but she confessed she didn’t really know much about breakups. Or what the hell to do.
What she did know was Cayden was as emotional over the breakup as she was.
That made it even harder not to take him back.
Two thoughts kept recurring the next day as she listened to the endless droning of the lawnmower and weed-eater and snip, snip of each individual branch being clipped: He doesn’t want to break up, and neither do I. So why should we? and He just doesn’t understand yet how much I would drag him down in the long run and probably cost him his friends, business, and the lifestyle he wants.
She wouldn’t be able to join him at parties or high-end events, mostly because she felt intimidated by the type of people in his crowd. All the beautiful women in his circle would laugh at him for being with someone who couldn’t compare to their looks. He would become a laughingstock. And, whereas her Crohn’s was getting more under control, she wasn’t totally flare-up free and would likely never be. If they stayed together, they would’ve gone on a vacation and a flare-up would’ve kept her in the hotel the entire duration. What fun would that be?
She snorted. She spent far too much time conjuring up hypothetical scenarios about what might’ve happened if they hadn’t broken up. She wished today wasn’t a Sunday and she had clients to see, a busy schedule to attend to, anything to get her out of the house.
But there was nothing to do outside besides yardwork, so she stayed inside trying to find some heart- wrenching sense of comfort in the constant noise of Cayden doing what he loved best: working on his yard and making it picture-perfect again before he went back to Los Angeles.
He probably won’t come back, she cried silently. He’ll probably go back there and keep getting paid an astronomical amount of money from Janine, then end up being her personal trainer forever. He’ll have so much money he can just hire people to move all his stuff over there. Next thing, there’ll be a ‘for sale’ sign in his yard. She blinked several times. I give it two weeks. There’s nothing he needs to stay here for. It would be better to get as far away from me and any emotional attachment as he can.
