Page 36 of Fragile Touch (Fragile 1)
“I think it’s less about the fact that there was a hot model person coming to his party,” she thought out loud, “but more about her calling him ‘babe’. And how he called her ‘good looking.” She shook her head at the glass she was scrubbing incessantly. “I guess it boils down to how I thought he wanted to start something with me. Not that relationships usually start with sleeping with each other before you really get to know one another. Maybe they do. I don’t know.”
I really don’t know, she realized. But it doesn’t make sense that he would want me to come over if his girlfriend would be there. Unless he’s some weirdly sick person. At this point, I can’t tell what kind of person he is, besides the fact that he likes himself and his job. And so do other people.
Her ears tickled from some faint sound drifting into the room, and it didn’t take her even one second to know where it was coming from. Before Cayden had moved in, the neighborhood never had any noise except for some kids playing outside after school or a car driving past. Perhaps some people thought Cayden brought some life to the area, and she had even entertained the idea for a quick moment that she was being too uptight about it.
That was all it was: a quick moment.
She rationalized with herself about it. The house on the other side of Cayden was only a part-time home for an older couple, and it was currently empty. The noise was much louder here beside his house, and he was the only one who really produced it.
She rolled her eyes sarcastically. Who’s shouting? The voices were clearly audible but they were too faint to be understandable. She put the last glass in the dish drainer and went to the other end of the house where the view of Cayden’s yard was better.
Peeping out between the blinds she saw that one of the last cars was pulling away from the curb, leaving only none other than that damn bright blue one. Cayden’s lamp in his yard brightly lit everything around it, but she couldn’t see anything. There were still noises, definitely girl and guy voices, and every now and then there was a squeal that sounded very much like a drunken one.
“What on earth...” she muttered to herself, and went to look out the bathroom window at the side of his house, where the voices sounded like they were coming from.
The minute she looked out, she saw in the half-shadows the girl pinning Cayden up against the side of his house.
It was too dark to see what exactly was going on. Cayden wasn’t moving much, just standing there with his face pointed toward the girl, who was flopping all over the place while using his solid frame for stability. As she rambled unintelligibly, she almost fell but caught herself on his arm as he reached out to catch her. Judging by his control, he didn’t look like he’d had too many.
Then she fell against him, and Lillian saw what she knew without a doubt were their bodies pressing against each other.
Shocked, she was unable to tear her eyes away from the scene. Their embrace didn’t last long; she could see Cayden’s hands hesitating at the suddenness of it. The girl’s legs buckled under her and he barely caught her under her arms. It was faint, but Lillian heard him say, “Come on, let me take you back.”
She watched him somehow load the girl into the front seat of his car, get into the driver’s seat, and drive away.
The world was noiseless again, and with the fading of the car engine in the distance her emotions also faded. Standing there in the dark, she felt an uncomfortable emptiness form a chasm in her heart.
The one time I risk something, she thought, I get played. Of course. Isn’t that how it always turns out?
She heard a very faint voice in her head try to encourage her, but she knew it wasn’t worth entertaining. I’ve been played, and that’s all there is to it. Slowly she went back to her room and sat on the bed, hunched over. How could I have been so stupid to actually think that a guy like that would like a girl like me?
It sounded so cliché, but she looked down at her feet. Her knees stuck out of her frail legs. She didn’t look terrible, but she was much weaker than she used to be. A few years ago, she had muscle and was stronger. Then it all started to go downhill.
She reached down to scratch her ankle and saw how weak her arms were, also. Compared to his arms, hers were twigs. It could never work between us. The thought saddened her greatly, but she believed it was true.
The quiet seeped into her skin an
d took her mind to another place. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t un-see Cayden’s first guest. I wasn’t anything to him. I was never in a place where I could expect him to act a certain way or do things differently. Sure, they slept together. But he was young, single, and incredibly sexy—in addition to his job as a personal trainer. She imagined him seeing people every day in workout gear, and all those people seeing him in his own workout gear. Or even shirtless.
She couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy.
You know what? She stood up and put her hands on her hips. “This isn’t okay. He can play me, but I’m going to let him know it’s not okay.” There were so many things that flew into her mind to say to him, and she intended to tell him every single one.
Her mind separated from her body enough that she barely realized she was putting on her sandals and a jacket and stomping over to his house. She didn’t feel any physically weaker than she did yesterday; all she could think about was giving him a piece of her mind the instant he pulled back in to his driveway.
It’s going to be so satisfying. She smiled smugly to the night air as she sat in the one chair by his front steps. The light from the lamp was just reaching her here, enough to make her noticeable to Cayden when he got back, but not like she was in a spotlight. The night air was mild, so she didn’t mind sitting outside listening to the sounds of nocturnal life.
The drunk girl must not have lived too far away, because he was back within the next ten minutes. Lillian heard his car make the turn down at the end of the street and a chill went up her back. The waiting time before he got back was the worst, and the real thing was about to happen.
Here goes nothing. She tried to pump herself up as he pulled up to his house. For a moment she tried to practice what she wanted to say, but found that at the slightest thought it all disappeared. I’m just going to wing it. Craning her neck forward she saw him in the driver’s seat, looking straight ahead. Obviously, he hadn’t noticed her yet; he was fumbling around for something, and when he found it he opened the door and stood up.
She took a breath.
Cayden rubbed the back of his neck with one hand. He wasn’t walking as straight as he usually did; he looked tired. Lillian felt sorry for him for a blink, but that blink showed her what she was angry about again. Her skin got hot.
He put a foot on the bottom step leading up to his house and stopped. Turning his head slightly, he jumped back. “Holy shit, Lil, what the hell are you doing there?”
She didn’t say anything.
