Willy Wonka: I’m always here if you need a glass of water or… anything else.
 
 Wait…
 
 Kass: Are you hitting on me, Martins?
 
 He takes a few minutes to reply.
 
 I hate that I’m growing restless.
 
 Willy Wonka: Do you want me to be hitting on you?
 
 Do I?
 
 Kass: Why are you texting me?
 
 Willy Wonka: I felt something last night. A connection. I can’t explain it. All I know is I’d like to get to know you better.
 
 A bit flustered, I read his text on repeat. There’s no way he means that. He’s fucking with me.
 
 Kass: Translation: you’re bored waiting for Winter and need a distraction.
 
 I hold my breath when three dots bob up on my screen. Two minutes go by. Is he writing me a novel? The dots disappear, then reappear, until finally…
 
 Willy Wonka: Busted.
 
 I knew it.
 
 Another message comes through right away.
 
 Willy Wonka: You’re also not the worst person to talk to.
 
 Kass: Gee, thanks
 
 Willy Wonka: My pleasure.
 
 Kass: Still didn’t answer my question
 
 Willy Wonka: What do you want me to say? I’m texting you because I want to. Or do I need a permit, officer?
 
 Kass: That’ll be $300
 
 Willy Wonka: Ha. Ha.
 
 Kass: Now if you’ll excuse me, I have other things to do than entertain you
 
 Willy Wonka: Like what?
 
 Kass: Like make an important call
 
 Willy Wonka: Ooh, are you giving golden boy a chance?
 
 I know he’s referring to Luke.
 
 Kass: Not quite.
 
 Willy Wonka: Poor fella. Just put him out of his misery and go on a date with the kid already.
 
 Kass: Why do you care if I date him or not?