Page 58 of Play Fast (Brooklyn Dawn 2)

We weren’t a political band. Jamie especially had enough opinions for ten people, but she and Lindsey had decided early on that we didn’t want to go that route. We were about the music. Politics and opinions about world events belonged to other realms, and we weren’t about to wade into those waters. At the shows, we wanted to have a big ass party, not talk about shit that weighed everyone down. Every band made their own choice in that arena, and we respected it. But our lack of controversy was yet another reason it didn’t make sense we were in the crosshairs.

It had to be something to do with Lewis. That was the only possibility that made sense. Sure, Brooklyn Dawn grabbed attention, and fans could veer toward the unstable side if their love grew too obsessive. By and large, most fans were sweet and adored us. Which made the threat of physical violence aimed our way even more disturbing.

“Hey.” Daisy squeezed my hand before pointing at a lingerie shop. “Let’s go in.”

The whole Noah situation had me so messed up that it took me a minute to get why she wanted to go in there. Must be bad off if even my dick wasn’t getting any play.

“Sure.”

She smiled and hurried in ahead of me, but the moment she was inside, she popped behind a rack and craned her neck to peer out the window.

“What are you doing?”

“Huh? Oh, nothing.” She gave me an insincere smile and darted another glance at the window. “Just making sure Noah didn’t decide to tail us. He’s not a liar though. But—shit.” She fumbled her purse and it fell on the ground with a jingle of keys. Hurriedly, she yanked it off the carpet, making a face. “Gross. I knew I should’ve brought my travel sanitizer.”

I stepped closer to the window and glanced around. Lots of shoppers were strolling the streets of the quaint lakeside town in the sunny Sunday warmth. “I don’t see Noah.”

“No, I know, that was just silly talk. He wouldn’t pretend to take off.” She ran a hand over her hair and took a deep breath, a move I already recognized as her way of trying to calm herself down.

I just couldn’t figure out why she was so rattled. It was a busy day, with lots of people all around. Safe enough.

Except we kept getting reminders that our world wasn’t nearly as safe as we’d been led to think. And Daisy had just stared down a knife-wielding robber, so of course she’d be uneasy.

I was an idiot.

“Hey. Come here.” I opened my arms to her and she bit her lip, looking as if she was arguing with herself.

Then she moved forward and linked her arms around my waist, pressing her cheek to my chest. I rubbed her back and let out a deep breath of my own. Some of the raggedness inside me eased, just from having her in my arms.

Fleeting perfection.

Almost immediately, the memory of the last time she’d approached me with such trepidation in her eyes filled my head.

Kerry’s funeral. Standing at the front of the church. Talking to the long line of mourners—her many friends, the worthless punk who’d been her on and off again boyfriend, a scatter of relatives we hadn’t spent much time with in years. And finally, Daisy. Dressed in mourning black, her hair tucked away under one of those modest hats. I remembered there had been a fucking feather in front. I’d laughed at her, making her big eyes fill with pain and fear.

Of me and what I’d say.

Even after this long, I remembered almost every word of our conversation.

Who the fuck are you pretending to be? Some society matron? Newsflash, Daze, we came from the gutter. Pretty polish doesn’t change shit.

She’d given me a tight smile and started with some clearly rehearsed speech.

I’m so sorry for your loss. Kerry was a wonderful girl—woman. She was a woman now. Almost.

She’d looked up at me as if she were waiting for confirmation I saw her as something other than a girl. A child. I’d laughed at her again, because the gaping hole inside me felt like an open grave caving in on itself. Dirt filling up all the spaces inside me that had once held room for love and happiness and friendship. All capacity for caring, gone in an instant.

Buried with my sister.

She was a kid. You’re a kid. Playing with fire. She didn’t learn fast enough, and God knows you weren’t her savior.

I’d held myself responsible. I knew Kerry partied. That Daisy partied. Hell, I’d partied with them on more than one occasion. I was going to do it anyway, and if I was there, I could keep an eye on stuff.

Sure I could.

Except the night Kerry died, I’d argued with her. She was getting back together with her boyfriend, and I was sure he was bad news. When she was with him, she lived on a rollercoaster of emotions. All I wanted was my happy, carefree sister back. It was too soon for her to be in love. What was love anyway? Just a chance for someone you cared about to fuck y

ou over.

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