Page 102 of Play Fast (Brooklyn Dawn 2)

He nodded.

“Now you want more?”

He flicked his lighter and lit his cigarette, then took a deep drag as if he hadn’t just finished one a minute ago. “Yeah. It’s been a multi-year project.”

“Ouch.”

He scratched his scruffy jaw and let the hand with the cigarette dangle. “It fairly sucks. So, you know, be careful what you wish for and all that. I’d like to kick my ass for not wanting them before, if I somehow karmically screwed the pooch.”

“Thanks for that imagery.”

“Just saying. You might think being alone is so awesome, but if you change your mind and you really are really fucking alone, you won’t be singing the same broke ass tune.”

I stared down at my boots, catching myself scuffing the toe the same way I’d done as a kid. “It’s not awesome.”

“Damn straight it isn’t.”

“I mean, it’s good when you don’t know who you want. But when you have a good idea…” I exhaled. “Gimme one of those.”

“Nope. Mine.”

I laughed. “You’re a contrary bastard.”

“You haven’t earned one yet.”

“That so?” I asked, mimicking him from earlier. “What hoop do I have to jump through?”

“It’s a big one.”

I jerked a shoulder. “Bring it.”

“Sure?”

“Jesus, Nick, it’s a damn cigarette, not a Lambo.”

“Stop disrespecting your sister.”

“Say the fuck what?” I advanced on him. “I may be a first-class prick, but I never disrespected Kerry. Not once.”

Nick held his ground. “No? You think it’s showing a lot of respect for someone by behaving as if they aren’t responsible for their own life? As if they couldn’t possibly handle making their own choices without your almighty help?”

I fell back a step, then kept going and sagged against the opposite wall. “I just wanted to protect her.”

“Yeah, I get it. But loving someone means giving them the space to decide for themselves, even if what they choose kills you.”

Swallowing hard, I didn’t reply.

“My sister nearly died a couple

times. I didn’t know if she’d OD or hook up with someone who beat her unconscious one night. Sometimes I pushed her out of my life because I couldn’t deal, and I still regret that.” He turned his head and released a steady stream of smoke. “She survived, and she’s thriving, and I was her biggest supporter when she came through it. But I couldn’t live her life for her. I couldn’t stand in her shoes and make her choices.”

“I get that.”

“Do you? Do you get that you can’t be Daisy’s shield either, especially by proxy? You love someone, you risk them every. Goddamn. Minute. It’s hard as hell. Because it matters. Because you’re breathing, not lying dead in the street.”

I choked out a laugh. “You tell it straight.”

“Only way I can.” He flicked away ashes. “My sister told me you didn’t have any interest in her offer of friendship. Since everyone loves her and everyone hates me, gonna guess you don’t want mine either. But if you do, you know how to reach me.”

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