Page 100 of Play Fast (Brooklyn Dawn 2)

Always only one. No repeats.

I never brought them to my place. Any of my places. They were my sanctuary, my private space. I didn’t do entanglements.

Sean was right there. I didn’t know how.

It wasn’t as if I’d had many good examples of love relationships at home. My dad had split on my mom when Ker and I were young. My mom had tried dating once or twice after, but it had never gone anywhere. Men never wanted to stick around when they found out she had two snarky teens. One especially, who guarded his mother fiercely and had until the day she died.

At least for her, I’d managed to stick around.

I cut through the crowd, most of them laughing and dancing and have a fine as hell time. I didn’t begrudge them their enjoyment. It was more I was pissed I was in this spot, when I’d done what I was sure would be best in the long run.

Okay, not sleeping with Daisy would’ve been the best thing, but I hadn’t managed to do that.

I was back to being no better than a horny, messed-up twenty-three-year-old who had a stupid thing for his little sister’s friend.

Shoving through the side exit door, I stepped out into an alley, already braced to deal with more photographers.

But the only one in the alley was Nick Crandall, one booted foot braced against the brick wall of the neighboring building, his head tipped back as he blew

smoke circles up at the sky.

“Sometimes I amaze myself,” he said after a moment.

Inwardly, I groaned. I’d wanted to duck back inside, but I was just screwy enough right now to be tempted to talk to him. I didn’t know why. What good could it do me? I didn’t want to go to fucking confession. I definitely had no desire to talk about Daisy.

I let the door thud closed behind me. “I’m amazed at you too. How did you get Lila to marry you?”

“A question I ask myself often.”

“Here I figured you’d brag.”

“Nah, trust me, I still can’t believe it myself. And that’s even acknowledging she’s a hard ass who loves unnecessarily busting my balls. But I sorta enjoy it.” He let out a steady stream of smoke. “She’ll bust them again when she smells the smoke on me. I was supposed to quit.”

“Fifty times ago?”

“Probably closer to a hundred by now. I was doing a lot better. Went months without touching one. I didn’t even think about them that much either. Then this shit started happening again at Ripper.” He lowered his head and narrowed his eyes with the veil of smoke still lingering in the air between us. “Hard to stand back while you’re worried about protecting someone you love, isn’t it?”

His question caught me like a fist around my windpipe.

“No,” I managed.

He chuckled, long and low. “Need an oxygen tank, brother? I can have Li order you one as necessary equipment. But I’ll warn you now—it isn’t going to get better.”

“It isn’t?”

Great. Now I’d turned into a parrot.

“No. The targets keep changing. You figure out the love stuff, or at least learn not to freak at the idea. Then you have to deal with cooperation. Not just your rodeo anymore, although I hate the cowboy analogy. Then it gets even crazier and you’re not only negotiating with your wife but with tiny hostage-takers who cry for candy and use your logic against you and you would die for, without question.” He took a drag. “Now I need a drink.”

I had to laugh. “I’m covered on some of those.”

“That so?”

“Yeah, I’m not having kids. Probably not a wife either.”

He coughed into his fist. “Right.”

I frowned. “You don’t know me.”

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