Page 101 of Big Booty

I pick up my cell. I have a text from JT. I grin. This niggah’s real lucky I ain’t one of them grimy bitches. YO. I WANNA C U. U FREE?

I text back: NO

FUCK! I WANT SUM PUSSY

My cell rings. I know this crazy niggah ain’t callin’ now. I glance at the screen, rollin’ my eyes. It’s Vernon. Mmmph. I should let the shit go into voicemail. “What?”

“We still beefin’?”

“Niggah, you slashed my motherfuckin’ tires. But you lucky I ain’t seen you or that bitch of yours, yet.”

He sucks his teeth. “See. Here you go wit’ this dumb shit. Ain’t nobody slash shit. Did you see me do it? No. So quit accusin’ me of shit.”

“Niggah, I know you did it. So I’m not even gonna waste my time goin’ back ’n forth with you about it. Now what the fuck you want?”

“I wanna pick my sons up this weekend. My fam’s throwin’ a surprise birthday party for Nana and I want the twins to be there with all of their brothers and sisters, and the rest of the fam.”

Awww, I always did like his grandmother. Miss Vee, short for Viola, don’t play. I ask him how old she’s gonna be. He tells me ninety-six. Tells me that his family’s gonna have a mini-family reunion to celebrate her birthday. “Good for her. Tell that old bitch I said happy birthday when you see her. Is she still only seein’ outta one eye?”

JT sends another text. WHEN U GONNA B FREE?

He sucks his teeth again. “Yo, ya disrespectful ass is fuckin’ ridiculous. You need ya muthafuckin’ mouth knocked in for that foul shi

t, yo.”

I’M NOT, I text back.

“Mmmph. And who’s gonna do it? You?”

“Look, I ain’t call for all this dumb shit. Is you gonna let me come get my sons or not?”

YO, STOP FUKKN AROUND. IMA HIT U UP LATER

“Not.”

“Yo, you crazy as hell. How you gonna keep me from my sons?”

“I’m not keepin’ you from ya sons. If you wanna see them, you can make an appointment and come here to see ’em. But you ain’t takin’ ’em nowhere ’til I see some money from ya ass.”

I text back: WHATEVER

He sighs. “Whatever, yo. You the only one who wanna be on that dumb shit. My other baby mothers don’t ever pull no dumb shit like this.”

“Well, that’s them bitches. But my sons need to eat and they need new clothes. And I keep tellin’ ya black ass that I shouldn’t have to spend my other kids’ money to take care of your responsibilities.”

“Yo, c’mon, Cass. Cut a niggah some slack. I’m out here every day tryna find work, shit’s real hectic. I’m doin’ the best I can.”

“Then get out there and suck some dick, niggah. ’Cause I need money to take care of ya kids.”

“Yo, fuck outta here wit’ that gay shit. What da fuck I look like?”

“Like a niggah suckin’ dick tryna get money up to take care of his goddamn kids, that’s what, niggah.”

“You know what, Cass. Stop bein’ a bitch and let me have my sons for the weekend. Damn. Why everything gotta always be complicated wit’ yo’ ass?”

“Bring me money, niggah, and you can have your sons for the weekend. No money, no sons. Nothing’s complicated about that.”

He sighs. “So what you sayin’ is, I gotta pay to see my own damn kids, right?”

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